The Biggie

In 1975 my lover suddenly flipped overnight from 100% positive to 100% negative toward me. His appearance and voice changed so drastically I did not recognise him. He wanted no further contact. He was not willing to explain what had happened to him on a trip to San Francisco. All he said was, Some day we will have to write a book about this. It will be something like Rosemary’s Baby. He has rebuffed every attempt on my part since to get him to elaborate on what happened. I have gone over the sparse but tantalising clues tens of thousands of times trying to piece together an explanation. I made the error of thinking he owed me an explanation. An ex owes you nothing in explanation. I created more suffering from this addictive demand than everything else in my life put together. It is like reading a mystery novel to discover the last page has been ripped out and my ex has the only other copy it existence of the book. I have constructed a plausible explanation. That will simply have to do. I presume that chapter in his life was too painful and he cannot not stand to revisit it.

~ Roedy (1948-02-04 age:69)