Adultery
I wince when I see couples in the movies e.g. Burn After Reading or real life split up just because one had sex with someone else. It seems as nuts as if they had split over:
- One went to a movie without the other.
- One rode a roller-coaster with someone else.
- One got a massage.
- One failed to cut the lawn when they promised to.
- One went on a fishing trip with their school friends without them.
Why would anyone throw away all future wonderful experiences with their partner for such a trivial reason? It is like a terrible-twos temper tantrum.
Some people would say to me, But if don’t get jealous, if you don’t dump your partner immediately for such an outrage, it proves you never cared about them. Hardly! I don’t know anyone who takes getting dumped harder than me. I love my partner. I want to do everything in my power to make their life as pleasant as possible. Logically, the more I can successfully do that, the less motive they would have to abandon me. Why would I want him to feel deprived? I love him! Why would I deny him the gift that would he would most enjoy?
Why are my views so different from mainstream?
- I am gay. I know what it like to be a horny male, just like my partner. Further, demanding monogamy is impractical. I know perfectly well that if I had ever said to my partner, How dare you want to jump that cutie’s bones over there, he would probably have replied And you don’t? or at perhaps the guy standing behind him?
- My birth family did not see loving more than one person at a time as wicked, more as an overflowing of good will. They found partners who were cool with it.
- I studied animals since I was a young child. Almost no species are monogamous but albatrosses, beavers and Malagasy giant rats. I never had any delusions otherwise. Logically because of its rarity, monogamy should be classified as a perversion.
Dan Savage on Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
