Peeves

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Pet Peeves

1. Sloppy pronunciation. This was my Mom’s biggie too, so I came by it honestly. Speech is for clear communication. You should enunciate clearly. Some of the common errors that set my teeth on edge include:
   • kewpon instead of koopon for coupon
   • dennis instead of dentist.
   • dint instead of didn’t.
   • Febuary instead of February. Even professional announcers like Jim Lehrer blow this one.
   • feud instead of food.
   • git instead of get.
   • lil instead of little.
   • lookin instead of looking, and all ing words.
   • lugzury instead of lucksury for luxury.
   • mah instead of my.
   • senner instead of senter for centre.
   • ser-yus-ly instead of ser-i-ous-ly.
   • ta instead of too for to.
   • toadally instead of totally.
   • chooseday instead of tiuseday for Tuesday
   • wadder instead of water.
   • wuhnt instead of wouldn’t.
   • yers instead of yores for yours.
2. Grammatical errors. Some of the common errors that grate include:
   • if I was prime minister instead of if I were prime minister.
   • I seen the dog instead of I saw the dog.
3. Baby talk between strangers, e.g. i wanna and gimme.
4. TextSpeak when not cell-phone texting.
5. Christians, especially ones who try to convince me of their crackpot ideas by claiming God spoke to them personally.
6. People who claim they have no personal responsibility for their military actions.
7. People who litter.
8. Republicans.
9. The word hoohah, the battle cry of mindless bullies.
10. People, usually conservative Christians, who imagine they have the right to act as my parents even though I am 60 years old by controlling what I should read, what movies I should attend, whom I should have sex with, what religious beliefs I should subscribe to and what I should wear. Surely I am as qualified as they to make those decisions for myself.

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