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Dreams


Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination when awake?
~ Leonardo da Vinci (born:1452-04-15 died:1519-05-02 at age:67)

Here are some dreams I had while asleep:

9/11 Dream Oprah Video Game Birth Trauma
Reindeer Dream Buddha’s Foot Dr. Richard Dawkins Watching Horse
Arabic Dance Dream Protractor Lucille Ball Oprah’s Breakup
The Flood The Ship Dance Instructor Terror
The Church The Log J. Worf Sloth
Bob McDonald Kiefer Finger Cure Laundromat
The Box The Purple Professor Ambush Fence
The Ham Fan Surveillance Sleepover Beached Whale
Hitler’s Guest Billy Graham The Yellow Python Earthquake
The Teddy Bear People I’m Dead Dream Logic Olympics
The Park Volcanic Toads The Grapes Terrorists
The Goblet Sacred Cow The Swamp Audition for Pope
The Green Shirt Python Swallowing Frog Drilling Special Effects
Cinnamon Buns The Birds Sharks Chopsticks
Floating Tom Hanks Christians Obama
The Great Frog Warlords Dying Rachael Maddow
The Artisan The Art Lecture NRA Day Google Maps
Israel WWII Chris Defending Oprah
Black Ghosts The Cell Phone The Runner Paris
Airport Farce Baby Heart Surgery Fist Fight Killing Angels
Spy Camera Coming Home Japanese Forest Harper’s Law
Republican Shark Deja Vu Sculptor Future Ease
Psycho Woman Lion Taming Russian Shopping Centre Ssibilants
Ledge Baby Greece Johnny Cash Inappropriate Behaviour
Ice Raft Bobby Kennedy Memorial Service Credit Union of the Future
Lobster The Ceiling Elephant Flying The Jewelry Store
Morphing Salmon The Horse The Killbras Dancing Bears
Many Lives The Walk The Tattooed Man Kidnapped
Cloning Around Planetary Exploration Eye Transplants Kangaroo
Garden Fish The Restaurant Plague

9/11 Dream

A few days before 9/11, I dreamed of an airliner flying through a glass office tower and emerging the other side with building and plane unscathed. The soundtrack to my dream was from a 1979 Chanel perfume share the fantasy commercial ( click to watch video) with a crooner singing I don’t Want To Set The World On Fire in which a shadow of an airliner passes over the TransAmerica building. When the towers collapsed, I was immediately struck by many holes in the official story and to the similarity to my dream. I know two other people who had similar dreams just prior to 9/11. I speculate that a powerful event that seized the attention of nearly everyone on earth could send ripples in time, both forward and backward. The dream suggests the theatrical unreality of the event, which jibes with my later findings that 9/11 could not be as claimed.

Reindeer Dream

About 2010-04-07, I had a dream about being in an ancient Norse church. It was narrow and long. I was sitting about 3/4 of the way back. There was some haunting echo singing. It came time to exit and people left in columns, leaping over the pews toward the front. Everyone, of all ages had no problem with this leaping. We ran faster and faster gradually lifting off the ground. We became a herd mind. It was utterly exhilarating leaping along like a herd of reindeer. This dream has roots both in the Santa Claus myth and the Norse shamanic traditions. I wondered if some prey may actually feel this way when chased by predators — challenged not terrified.

Arabic Dance Dream

On 2010-04-15, I dreamed I was at a university. They were holding a dance outdoors near an ugly concrete bunker. I went inside to see the band. There were all Arabs. The large band was took up most of the space in the building and was playing too loud for comfort. I pulled my knees up to my chest, lifted my feet off the ground and began to spin. I spun around the dance floor, very fast, hovering about four feet off the ground. Nobody paid any attention. I said to myself, They probably think this is just a magic trick, an illusion of some sort.

The Flood

On 2010-04-16, I dreamed I was standing on a high hill overlooking Vancouver. The sun was shining and sparkling on the water like the Mediterranean. Over a period of only about two minutes the sea rose and covered most of the city. I could not figure out what could possibly have made the water rise that fast or that deep. An Asian martial arts practitioner, wearing a white canvas coat, about 2.13 metres (7 ft) tall with a giant perfectly spherical belly came over to me and wanted to engage me in some sort of game or contest. I was annoyed that he had absolutely no interest in the rising water. He wedged himself into the concrete of the lookout and started to laugh.

The Church

On 2010-04-20, I dreamed I was taking part in a re-creation of a church service of several hundred years ago. My little group were dressed in fine furs. We carried huge parchment scrolls. We were directed to peer over the top of them and look at the others disdainfully. The director explained we were the military and the elite. I mused to myself, It is odd that is so patently obvious to us today this little group exploited the rest, but when the same thing happens in our own day, we are blind to it.

Bob McDonald

On 2010-05-02, I dreamed I was at the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) where Bob McDonald, host of Quirks and Quarks, was on the air. I was in another part of the studio when I heard him talk about soldiers defending Canada in Afghanistan I was not going to let him get away with this lie, so I walked over to where he was on camera and confronted him. I tried to explain in a calm, quiet, but determined voice why this simply was not so. Bob, who appeared to be only about 25 years old, just rolled his eyes. I stood close to him, looming over him (since I am considerably taller). He continued to dismiss me. I briefly contemplated wrapping my hands around his neck to get his attention, but quickly dropped the idea as counter productive. I thought to myself, He is so brainwashed that he cannot even hear me, much less consider what I am saying. He is typical of Canadians.

The Box

On 2010-05-05, I dreamed I was with two soldiers. A box, about the size of a box of Nestlé Smarties hovered in front of the face of one of the soldiers. He was terrified. There was a small hole in the side of the box. I peered in and an eye inside peered back at me. The other soldier pulled out a pistol and shot at the box. I was horrified. I was sure the bullet would just go through the box and into the soldier’s head, but the bullet knocked the box off to the right. However, within a fraction of a second, the box was back, (or a second box just appeared and replaced it). The soldier shot again, this time at the other side of the box, I thought even more likely to go through and kill the other soldier. This time the box just shattered a little, as if it were made of bullet-proof class and hovered in place. It has somehow evolved a defence to the bullet after only one exposure.

The Ham Fan

On 2010-05-07, I dreamed I was shopping in a department store when an overweight woman wearing a black dress with small white polka dots approached me and explained she was a shopping assistant and that she wanted to assist me in my shopping. (In Malaysia, such an assistant is assigned to you when you enter the store.) I humoured her. She chattered non-stop. When I was in the checkout line the clerk asked if I wanted any cash. I said, no. The woman said He wants eleven dollars. I said What for? She cleared her throat and I understood she wanted a tip for this free service. I asked for fifteen dollars. I felt I had been had, but I did not want to look cheap. She explained it was customary to buy her a gift. She wanted a ham shaped like a coral fan on a ceramic base. We looked over the various such hams. I was surprised they cost only eleven dollars.

Hitler’s Guest

On 2010-05-11, I dreamed I was a Nazi bureaucrat. I was invited to a presentation to view some new military technology. I was quite excited when I discovered Hitler himself was there. I felt honoured to be present. There was a large metal rather old and beat up boat in the hall. We were instructed to stand at various distances from it. Then soldiers came in and poured carboys of liquids into the hull which reacted with fizzing with the metal. Clouds of vapour wafted up. I thought to myself, Oh, we are getting to see some new kind of poisonous gas. I had better be careful not to breathe it. Wait a minute, we are being experimented on. No that could not be right. I tried to hold my breath, but the fumes were ticklish and I could not help but cough. I then took a sharp breath in and died instantly.

The Teddy Bear People

On 2010-05-21, I dreamed two alien beings approached me. They were covered in curly grey hair, looking a bit like giant bedraggled teddy bears or perhaps teddy goats. They had very narrow angular faces with very serious expressions. I felt somewhat uncomfortable around them. They spoke little. However, the townspeople were wildly enthusiastic about them and lobbied frantically to have them move into their part of town. I was puzzled by the appeal they had.

I was with them when there was a sort of soft explosion, a poof of yellow light fog. Instantly, I understood the meaning of the parable of Genesis. The short version is the apple represents oil. The tree of knowledge represents the scientific and technical knowledge which it is not safe for humans to tinker with. They are smart enough to understand it, but not mature enough to use it responsibly. Examples include burning fossil fuels, atomic energy, genetic engineering, plastic and organic chemistry. God says, leave this stuff alone. It looks superficially attractive, but it is not for babies like you. Of course, humanity plunges in and is in the process right now of driving the entire planet out of the garden of Eden.

In Darwin’s time, earth was a paradise. We have destroyed it so quickly. Even something as innocuous as antibiotics have gone pear shaped when we fell into the temptation to galloping overpopulation. Another similar myth is the sorcerer’s apprentice.

The Park

On 2010-06-19, I dreamed I was walking on a drizzly fall day in a spacious older neighbourhood of city. I noticed a heritage home with a formal garden with a row of plants that looked like tiny white Fleur de Lys. There was a small sign saying that there were wolves in the garden. I thought this odd given there was only a low wrought iron fence to keep them in. I looked around for them, but could not see them. Then I noticed I could just barely see them furtively skulking about out of the corner of my eye, almost like ghosts.

I went across the street to a large grassy park boulevard median. I could see a shaggy, wet, 3.66 metres (12 ft) kangaroo off in the distance. I went over to take a closer look. When I got there it had morphed into a shaggy, brown, massive, horse-like creature with the bulk of a mastodon. It ran away. I went to one end of the park where there were crowds of people. They were chasing the animals about. A trio of terrified animals were running toward me to escape their pursuers including a man and his retarded adult son. One of the animals was a native American dwarf mute wearing a giant feather headdress. I shouted at the people to back off. Did they not realise they were terrifying the animals? A man in a cart, who resembled the late Ken Keyes, came toward me pursued by four giant ostriches who were mouthing him. He was smiling benignly, though he obviously wanted to escape the excessive attention. The ostriches turned their attention to me and started mouthing me. They did not hurt me. Then I woke up.

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The Goblet

On 2010-06-22, I dreamed I was in the west end of Vancouver, BC Canada. People were looking up at a giant wineglass sitting atop one of the apartment buildings. It was glowing gold. Either there was another one, or it morphed to being on top of an office building in downtown Vancouver. It suddenly partly collapsed. I climbed up onto the roof of the office building and climbed a ramp to gain access to the goblet. It became clear that inside was a very exclusive night club/bar with access by invitation only. My ex was walking down the ramp. He was the artist who had built it. He said, You can’t go in. Go away. I said, It was my money that financed it. I am legally responsible. I have to go in. He glared at me and continued walking down and I continued walking up. Then I woke up.

The Green Shirt

On 2010-06-22, I dreamed I saw a handsome slim man with reddy-blond hair and a green shirt. My heart fluttered. I thought to myself This guy will become my lover I thought this was a foolish notion given we had not even met, but the feeling was overpowering. Later I found myself in a descending elevator of people including him. We struck up a conversation. It turned out he had a slight French accent and an extremely confident way of speaking. I started to say something about the first time I saw him, then realised I could not complete my sentence because of the other people in the elevator who might be offended at the thought of two gay men attracted to each other. He would have none of this and repeatedly prompted me to finish my sentence. I realised he was a more sincere gay liberationist than I was who demanded to be treated completely equally and if it offended the straights, so be it. He put his arm around my shoulder, continuing the conversation in a voice louder than necessary, to ensure everyone in the elevator could hear. When the doors opened, we went off for coffee.

Cinnamon Buns

I dreamed I was in Britain just after the end of WWII (World War II). The war office was concerned about riots when food rationing was lifted. So they commissioned two missiles to maintain order. When the riots occurred, the missiles were deployed and they rained down a hail of hot cinnamon buns.

Floating

On 2010-07-20 I dreamed I was cycling on a long tour of south western British Columbia on a sunny day. I was traveling with a professional cyclist. He headed off the road and into a stadium, bouncing down the seats. I followed, trusting that this must be at least theoretically possible since he had done it. To my amazement I too bounced down the seats without falling. I followed him leaping from rooftop to rooftop, going ever faster over bigger obstacles.

I was then walking along a path overarched with thick vegetation. I tried to move silently without disturbing the vegetation. I then discovered I could float above the ground, much like swimming and glide from point to point, like an octopus. I discovered when I got the speed just right, even when I did brush the vegetation, it made no sound. I then glided into a tube of grass, a sort of rabbit runway. I lay still as some people walked by. I could see the shadows of their legs. I was visible, but I was in the shadows and they were in bright light. They did not notice me as I held my breath.

I then was at the airport talking with friends I had not seen since university days. I bought a ticket to Japan on a whim. I later wondered what had got into me, since I clearly could not afford the ticket much less the other expenses. A young lady bought me a bouquet of flowers, mostly dark blues and plums. The group of us went to visit my mother (who is now dead). The girl told my mother she and I were dating (which was the first I had heard about it). My mother berated the girl for spending so much on the flowers and explained all the various discounts she had missed. I chastised my mom, saying that she got them at the airport and thus there was no way to avoid being ripped off.

The Great Frog

On 2010-08-20 I dreamed I saw a 1 metre (3.28 ft) long frog. Some ragged looking wild dogs were chasing it. It tried to escape by digging into the mud. The dogs were biting its back. Suddenly a giant frog the size of a house rose out of the mud, shaking the ground. The dogs fled in terror.

The Artisan

On 2010-08-28 I dreamed I was sitting at a desk outside in the yard at my grandmother’s farm. I put on a heavy silver ring on my left hand. I thought to myself, I don’t usually think of my self as an artisan or craftsman, but somehow putting on that ring changed my self perception. I looked at my hands and noticed they were a dark mahogany brown. I puzzled over this. I thought to myself, Isn’t that odd. I never noticed I was East Indian before. I wonder how I could have overlooked that all my life. I then stretched my hands preparing for work. I was horrified to discover they were completely cramped up. I could barely wiggle a few of my fingers. I thought, Wait, I can type. Let me put my hands in typing position. Surely then they will flex properly. I tried with little success. I was working over a little black mat in portrait position. I moved it into landscape position. This seemed to give some relief.

Israel

On 2010-10-30 I dreamed I was on a walking tour with two companions. We were walking along a long straight road that skirted the sea in a hot dry place. We came to Israel, which was surrounded by a ceramic wall about 2 metres (6.56 ft) high. Behind that what a near-vertical wall made of baked reddy-brown earth going up perhaps 30 metres (32.81 yards). The wall was dotted with tough, almost black, armoured desert plants. We remarked at how forbidding this was and how difficult it would be climb and if you tried they would probably shoot you. There were machines embedded in the earth wall that emitted radiation of various sorts to kill people who stayed too close too long. We could feel the effects as flashes of blue light, the smell of ozone, nausea and headaches. There was no sign of any people anywhere. A thick acrid smoke wafted down over the wall. We wondered how people could possibly survive inside the wall with that level of pollution. Thinking about the dream on awakening, I think interpreting that level of smoke as pollution was ridiculous. It must have been the result of warfare or some horrible catastrophe. My companions told me they could not bear to be near this smoke and raced ahead. I could not keep up with them, but ran as best I could. We discussed how we could describe what we had seen that would accurately depict its awfulness. We thought about using metaphors that it was like one of various graceless small towns might give the proper impression. I tell this dream mainly in case it turns out to be prophetic, like the 9/11 dream.

Black Ghosts

On the morning of 2010-11-06 I recalled a fragment of a dream. I was visiting a group of Christians in the United States. They had a rather odd Christmas custom. They set out rocking chairs and put corpses in them that had been home preserved. They were the colour of fruitcake and were covered in a soft down of long fuzzy grey mould. They explained the black ghosts of the departed would come and inhabit them for Christmas. They could see the skepticism in my face. One elderly lady said God dammit. If Grandma said she would always be here for Christmas, she will!

Airport Farce

On the morning of 2010-11-08 I had a farce dream. I only remember fragments and the general theme. I was in my twenties, an athletic Matt Damon-like character traveling across Europe with two British football club type companions. In the first part of the dream, everything went spectacularly right, with split second timing. Everyone conspired to help us. Politicians, criminals and the general public force wads of cash and useful gifts into our hands and helped us race to the next plane, sneaked us through restricted area shortcuts or helped us get back together after getting inadvertently separated, for a variety of mostly questionable motives. One of the gifts was a card that said I speak only German only in German (Ich spreche nur Deutsch). In the second part of the dream, just when it looked as if we had made our plane by the skin of our teeth, the airport security people caught up with us and everything that moments ago seems such a spectacular beneficial co-incidence suddenly turned on us and became evidence we were criminals, terrorists or worse.

Spy Camera

On the morning of 2010-11-09 I had the first dream of my life in which I was an inanimate object. I was spy camera embedded in the wall of Beau Bridges’ apartment. He suspected I was present and stormed around his apartment trying to find me. He came to where I was and peered in my lens. He still could not see me. I could feel his eyeball pressing against my lens. I was holding my breath. Then it occurred to me, that as a camera, I could not breathe and further, I could not move, so I could just relax. Nothing I did would have any effect on whether he detected me.

Republican Shark

On 2010-11-10 I dreamed that a Republican (of indeterminate gender) dressed up as a shark and, using a tool shaped like a serrated pie slice, amputated my arm. The shark was quite excited at the prospect of eating my arm. It was quite painful, but hurt less when the shark was cutting continuously. This dream may have been inspired by a little piece I wrote on the Republican tax cuts as a wealth transfer from the poor to the rich.

Psycho Woman

On the morning of 2010-11-12 I dreamed that a psychotic young female serial killer with dark hair was holding me captive. I kept talking her into postponing killing me. She was like a cat toying with a mouse. She seemed to like me, but at any moment she wanted to skewer me to death. I tried to convince her that I loved her so much that I would not even mind being skewered. I thought this might break her pattern (to use Tony Robbins’ vocabulary). I puzzled how to interpret the dream. I thought it might represent the Christian relationship with their psychotic Jehovah that they have to pretend to love so he won’t smite them. The psycho woman could any of many women who have emailed me, furious that I would dare oppose the slaughter of children in Afghanistan or Iraq or say anything negative about the sadistic American soldiers that they love who sign up to kill people who are no threat to the USA.

Ledge Baby

On the morning of 2010-11-12 I dreamed I lived in a pristine river valley near the mouth of the river in the past or the apocalyptic future. To get to the ocean, you had to navigate a very narrow ledge half-way up a tall vertical cliff about 1 km (0.62 mile) long. I had a baby just old enough to crawl with me. I could not very well carry it along the ledge since it would unbalance us both and send us crashing to our deaths. The others told me to place the baby on ledge and instruct it to walk alone to the other end. I protested that was insane. They explained it had managed to do this before. I said, well even if it did, that was probably a traumatic ordeal. This time it might become so discouraged it will allow itself to fall. However, there seemed to be no other alternative than to let it crawl on its own. For some reason, I did not think of the option of following right behind it.

I wondered if this dream is a metaphor about parents having to let go of their children at various stages, even when they are not prepared for the hazard that will beset them.

Ice Raft

On the morning of 2010-11-13 I dreamed I lived in a post-apocalyptic world. I was a young black man with a wife and two small children. I had built a raft of styrofoam with a small hut. It floated on a dazzlingly beautiful fjord in the far north among the ice floes. I was struck by the clean cold air and the spectacular sunsets. We survived primarily by catching fish off the side of the raft. I was proud of my handiwork, but I knew that it was only a matter of time until 89.41 metres/sec (200 mph) winds, a results of global climate change, would probably destroy us. One night my wife shoved a shotgun into my hands and said, Do your duty as a black husband. I was somewhat taken aback by her brusque and bullying demeanor. What did she mean? Whom did she want me to kill and why? I decided instead to kill no one and used the gun to scrape ice and snow off the deck of the raft. I felt proud of myself for accomplishing this duty that should surely please a mate.

It did not occur to me until I woke up she probably wanted me to kill some sort of mammal for food.

Lobster

On the morning of 2010-11-16 I dreamed a live orange lobster, about 15 cm (5.91 in) long, suddenly fell out of my brow into my hands folded in my lap. I was startled and woke up. I often have dreams that startle me. They seem a logical conundrum, like a surprise party I host for myself.

Morphing Salmon

On the morning of 2010-11-22 I dreamed I took a long bicycle trip over unpaved mountain roads. I game to a fork and took the right one because it looked wider. It lead to a fishing village on the ocean. I was surprised that I was back at sea level. I had climbed and climbed. A man was reeling in a giant salmon. It flipped its tail back and forth hitting both me and the fishermen. I thought, a few hundred years ago the salmon had only bears to deal with, now they have these fishermen with their nets and lines taking a huge percentage of the population. I began to wonder how salmon could evolve to deal with this pressure. I then saw salmon sneaking under the nets and morphing over a period of a few minutes to become bottom fish like flounders.

Many Lives

On the morning of 2010-11-22, I was dreaming and realised I was about to wake up. I was living many fuzzy lives simultaneously, that were similar. They gradually coalesced into one, in sharper focus. I woke up in real life after the dream converged accurately on my actual apartment and I walked down the hall to the bathroom. I was struck by how mundane my choice of life was and how ordinary the hall was.

Cloning Around

On the morning of 2010-11-26, I dreamed Google offered a new human-assisted search engine. I had an out of body experience and went to Google Headquarters where I floated around invisible having a look at how they implemented it. I discovered they had used genetic engineering to clone mottled orange shrimp-like creatures 1½ metres (4.92 ft) tall. They lay on specially designed black padded chairs, like dentist chairs, that let them lie on their backs as they typed at computer terminals. Google rightly figured the public would not cosy up to such creatures, so hired legions of young men about 20 years old to be the public face of the service. Someone handed a new recruit an envelope with the instructions on how to modify his appearance to become the canonical service agent. It required a slim build, medium-length dark hair, somewhat bushy, but evenly trimmed eyebrows, pale white skin and no facial hair. He had to wear a black tee shirt and black pants. The young man I watched was scowling and trimming his eyebrows to regulation length.

Garden Fish

On the morning of 2010-11-28, I dreamed I was cutting the lawn of the home I lived in as a teenager. I was using a hand mower. Grass grew on the vertical edges surrounding the lawn and I tried to trim them too. A neighbour looked over contemptuously. Our lawn was ratty compared with his immaculately groomed putting green. I noticed weeds in among the plants and started to clear them out. I found a dwarf gourami in amongst the leaves. It is a tropical fish found in south east Asia that builds a bubble nest, able to live in low-oxygen water by gulping air at the surface. This one was about five times larger than ones you usually find in aquaria. It spoke to me and told me it had no water and had managed to get by with just dew on the leaves. It could not hold on much longer and begged me to find it some water to live in.

Oprah

On the morning of 2010-12-08, I dreamed I was walking through an airport. I saw Oprah Winfrey slumped in a chair looking very tired. She looked me with one eye. I said, Don’t worry, I won’t exhaust you by telling you my life story. I’ll leave you alone. She patted the chair beside her. I sat down beside her and rested quietly. I figured my presence would discourage others from demanding her attention.

I then met a young man with blond hair, combed straight back, extremely handsome. I thought, He won’t even give me the time of day. So I decided to deliberately ignore him. He spoke to me. I responded in a curt dismissive way. Oddly, he followed me around as we explored a shopping center. I thought perhaps my appeal was I was one of the few people who did not slobber all over him.

Buddha’s Foot

On the morning of 2010-12-13 I dreamed I lived an a small open Japanese house of natural woods. Representatives of the world’s religions came to visit. The Catholic was wearing white leather covered in jewels. He looked like a cross between the pope and an Elvis impersonator. He was contemptuous, similar to Sirna Kolrami, the character in Star Trek Next Generation who liked to play strategema. Each representative carried a symbol of their religion. There was a young Thai woman who had no symbol. She explained that she represented Buddhism. She was quite shy and deferential to the others. I said, I think I have something for you. I went to a back room and fetched a terra cotta blob of mud, on which stood a detachable terra cotta foot. The foot was small young person’s foot. This is the Buddha’s foot I explained. She was overwhelmed. I think she took it to be life-cast of the original Buddha. The Catholic bragged his religion was sweet smelling of incense. The young woman said, suddenly, with confidence, but my religion smells most strongly. I leaned over and could smell some slight not-unpleasant foot odour emanating from the foot. I wondered if this was just imagination triggered by the young woman’s enthusiasm, something mildly supernatural or something mundane. I wondered about the meaning of the symbol. I thought it represented simply walking in Buddha’s footsteps, in a very mundane way, of copying a teacher’s actions.

Protractor

On the morning of 2011-02-03 I dreamed a group of friends from high school went to help our friend Stephanie with her garden. She wanted me to rip out some plants, but I was unsure which ones she meant and worried I would destroy the wrong ones. Later she presented me with a large protractor. She explained the man at the protractor store had made her buy two smaller protractors for the privilege of buying a large one. Apparently there was a world protractor conference being held at his store, and protractors were in short supply. [I bought a small protractor recently in order to understand the math to write a Java program to draw rounded polygons.]

The Ship

On the morning of 2011-02-04 I dreamed I was traveling over the ocean in a ferry. The water was very rough and shot up into the air in wavelike spikes perhaps 30 metres (32.81 yards) tall. I opened a door and discovered there was nothing on the other side, just a drop into the ocean. Two staff members ran up to me and said, Oh, don’t do that! Then every door I tried similarly just opened to the air. I thought, What a dangerous way to design a ship! Those doors should be bolted shut.

The Log

On the morning of 2011-02-18, I had a lucid dream. I dreamed I was on an ultra-low profile air craft carrier. All around were huge sharp spiky waves. I was concerned the ship would be overwhelmed by them. Someone assured me that it could handle them. Then the sailors threw me into the ocean. I discovered a rope was slowly pulling me through the ocean. I arranged the rope to pull me so that I could sleep. A young man, one of many, floating in the water, explained to me that I should adjust the rope so that it did not stretch my clothes and thus wear them out too quickly. I took his advice. We landed on a beach and first had to wriggle through a tall, narrow, vertical air shaft. I was concerned I would get stuck in the tunnel. I thought, Even if I get stuck here for several hours, I will eventually wake up and my predicament will evaporate. Then we had to walk along a trail at the edge of the beach. Huge logs had fallen across the trail. However, over the centuries, the pant legs of soldiers climbing over the logs had worn them down, where they crossed the paths, to the diameter of pencils.

Kiefer

On 2011-04-06, I dreamed I was in my early twenties. I had a wealthy friend who let his friends come and go to his large apartment. I entered the apartment late at night and looked around for a place to crash. I saw Kiefer Sutherland, also in this early twenties, sleeping on the floor. I started to levitate/fly as I often do in dreams. Kiefer said I can do that too. Cool I said, I have never met anybody before who could also do that. I waited and gradually he floated up from the carpet. We locked outstretched hands and started spinning about a common axis in the air faster and faster. Then I woke up.

The Purple Professor

I dreamed I was attending a physics lecture at a European university. The professor was a squat little man wearing a plum-coloured cape and a bowler hat. He had short curly hair. He had a bulldog-like face dyed deep purple. He started his lecture in a crisp European accent. Some fellow professors behind as screen heckled him about his bizarre appearance. This went on and on making it hard to concentrate on the lecture. Eventually I got up and chastised the professors for focusing on trivia which was not their job, and failing to criticise the content of the lecture which was. I then woke up. I walked into the living room to tell my family about this dream encounter. My sister noted that I seemed to be dancing with happiness, uncharacteristic for me. I told the story then woke up yet again and found myself in my apartment in Victoria.

Surveillance

On the morning of 2011-05-05, I dreamed a small group of people set up a small tent in my back yard. In the tent was a laser about a metre long mounted on a tripod. They aimed it at the television in my house. They apparently were using this to track what I was watching. I tried jiggling the TV. The laser beam bounced around and went out for a short while. I reluctantly called the police, expecting them to dismiss me as a crank. They came, but by the time they got there, making a tremendous racket, the crew and their tent had disappeared. The crew resumed surveillance shortly thereafter. I realised I could not very well call the police again. I considered sneaking up and bashing them with an iron bar, but I thought that a rather severe punishment for the crime. It seemed so odd they would be so brazen. Why were they doing this? I suspected simple harassment or intimidation. I got a glimpse of one of the crew. I thought he might be a childhood friend who had grown up to be a Zionist.

Billy Graham

On the morning of 2011-05-07, I dreamed was in Billy Graham’s New York spacious apartment. I have no idea why I was there or why they permitted me to be there. Mr. Graham was seated on a large white Chesterfield. All of a sudden Mr. Graham bellowed out at the top of his lungs I am hungry for righteousness in a Foghorn Leghorn accent. Barack Obama, who was sitting opposite, jumped from being startled. Mr. Graham then briskly enunciated several paragraphs of tongue-twisting gibberish, with each word ending in eth. I thought what am I doing here? Then I thought, I wonder if Mr. Graham’s oratory might have a beneficial effect on Washington corruption even if it is based on nonsense?

I’m Dead

On the evening of 2011-06-12, I dreamed I lived in a large dark greenhouse with about seven other young people, including two of my sisters and my younger brother. I noticed a corpse in the bath tub. It had rigour mortis. The corpse was my body. Yet I was still alive, feeling a bit friskier and more flexible than usual. I was quite puzzled. Was I dead? Was this corpse really me? I thought I should consult some of my housemates to get their opinions. Everyone was busy and I could not prevail on anyone to go examine the corpse. I began to wonder if possibly they could not even see or hear me, but they seemed to, just reluctant to pay me much attention. I wondered if somehow I had died and through some mysterious process, had come back to life in a newly regenerated body. I had no memory of dying. Was I a clone? I wondered if I had been murdered and Twilight Zone forces had brought me back to life, just to freak out my assassins.

Volcanic Toads

On the evening of 2011-06-13, I dreamed I was walking in a mountain valley. I came across a group of toads about 1 metre (3.28 ft) across. They were dark grey with bright red stripes. When I looked closer, I realised their skins were made of cooled volcanic lava and the stripes were glowing magma.

Sacred Cow

On the morning of 2011-06-14, I dreamed of steep cone-shaped mountain. It was so steep and perfectly round it was likely artificially created or shaped. There was a spiral path winding to the top. A line of cows was wending its way up. Normally each cow just followed the cow ahead without any encouragement, but today, the last cow in the line, a cow specially decorated with red and blue garments, was refusing to follow. It was my job to get to the cow and give it a nudge. I was having trouble getting to the cow.

Python Swallowing

On the afternoon of 2011-06-14 I dreamed I was visiting a city on the north east coast of Australia. It was a beautiful sunny day. Families went out to the various city parks to participate in this annual event. You first had to catch a goat, then persuade it to swallow a python about 1 metre (3.28 ft) long.

The Birds

On the afternoon of 2011-06-17 I dreamed some friends were, after hours, showing me their low-end small department store where they worked. They asked me to dispose of a bowl of grapes and other fruits that had spilled on the floor. I was walking down an aisle looking at the plump grapes in a bowl in my hand, thinking There is nothing wrong with these grapes. I could eat them or feed them to the birds. Yet that would probably upset my friends, by breaking some regulation or other. At the front of the store were the exotic birds. There was a giant stand perhaps 10 metres (10.94 yards) high to display the birds. At the foot of it, was a duck-like creature with very large feet genetically engineered to fit into slots in the stand to keep it from tipping over. It gave me a rueful look. It was clearly not anywhere near heavy enough to act as serious ballast. I opened the window a crack and a ferocious wind whipped in. I thought oh oh But the birds were ecstatic. One pelican-like bird started to recite poetry I did not understand in an Australian accent. She shoved her young out the window and then passionately explained that even if they died at least they had a chance at wild existence.

Tom Hanks

On the morning of 2011-06-18 I dreamed I volunteered regularly to help Tom Hanks maintain his home. My job that day was cleaning a literal swimming pool full of silverware all covered in dried yogurt. I had been volunteering for years. There were other more recent volunteers, who always referred to Mr. Hanks by some title or award he had won. I was not about to do that, but I guessed that calling him Tom was no longer acceptable. Nobody seemed to recognise me, but then nobody seemed distressed at my presence either. I went into the living room where perhaps 20 people of all ages, members of Tom’s extended family, were sitting serenely on chesterfields. Tom Hanks was standing at one end of the room, being affable. However he was worried about some lawsuit. I assured him that the silverware would be clean in time. This was somehow required for the lawsuit to go well. My younger sister volunteered there as well. She looked after the children. She told me she was worried the children were getting too much candy.

Warlords

On the afternoon of 2011-06-18 I had a most unusual dream. The dream was a 2D animated cartoon, drawn on blinding white paper, with black ink and a flew blobs of dazzling red blood. I was in the dream, a drawing myself. The characters were traditional Japanese Samurai. The war lords would command waves of attack. Swarms of soldiers would follow the order like a wave of ants attacking another wave. However, the soldiers strongly resented being forced to do this. When it was clear they were about die, they would passionately embrace and lock lips with their opponents.

The Art Lecture

On the morning of 2011-07-09 I dreamed I was delivering an art lecture outdoors in a public park in Paris. I wore a grey suit and a brown moustache. I had an easel with a computer flat panel display. A crowd started to gather. I was surprised. Normally my lectures did not generate much interest. The crowd was very noisy. I looked more carefully at the image to figure out what was agitating them. It showed hundreds of tiny people. When I looked closely, I discovered they are all engaged in sex. I was embarrassed and clicked the X at the top right of the screen to dismiss the image. It was replaced by an even more clearly pornographic one. I tried to cover it with my fingers, but the image was much too big. The crowd was clearly enjoying my embarrassment. Others were calling for my arrest. The more I tried to close the images, the worse things got. I tried to find some way to shut down the app or the display entirely. There was nothing.

WWII

At 2 AM of 2011-07-17 I dreamed I was back in the time of WWII. The only difference was we were fighting turtle-like creatures about 1 metre (3.28 ft) long. They were dark grey-brown almost black. They had metal reinforcing of their shells. They propelled themselves rapidly underground — rather grim creatures.

The Cell Phone

I arrived late to lecture on a new cellphone. My friends were very enthusiastic. Cool!, I’ll have to get one! It’s the ultimate new status symbol! But what does it do? I asked. Everyone looked at me blankly as if I had asked an idiotic question. There was long silence, then someone piped up It can receive all signal protocols I asked Are any of you having trouble receiving the signals from your carrier? There was silence. Then the secret of its true coolness came out, it was powered by biting into a green pear-like object, then chewing the white flesh and spitting it into a little pod you inserted into the phone.

Baby Heart Surgery

I dreamed I lived in America in the future, where there was no professional medical care. I had no medical training and was expected to do the surgery for my own family. I had a newborn baby boy who needed heart surgery. I took him to a surgery center on a large houseboat. There was somebody who walked around and gave a little coaching to the parents all operating on their children. I had the chest open. Inside the heart were hundreds of tiny white tubes. I was supposed to cut them and reconnect them in another spot. In the midst of all this, the heart stopped. I ran over a swaying ocean dock, carrying the baby, to the machine that could be used to start the heart.

When I got there I was able to get the heart going again. I was greatly relieved. The supervisor of the machine asked me How many seconds did it take you to get the baby to the station. I did not know. I was too busy running. I was upset. My sense of time could not be relied on. The supervisor chastised me severely You damn near killed that baby by not knowing the answer to that question.

Coming Home

At 4 AM of 2011-09-13 I dreamed was in my 20s or 30s and I was coming home after working quite late. I approached a sprawling white one-story house. I got inside but I could not figure out how to lock the front door. It had no handle or latch. I felt quite rattled that I had forgotten how. Then I noticed a larger than normal light switch by the front door and tried flipping it. To my relief, it locked the door. But I felt even more rattled because this switch was totally unfamiliar. I must have locked the front door many times before. That’s not how you lock doors. The house was dark except for a trace of light from a street light. I felt frightened, wondering about intruders and ran to the bedroom through the spacious, sparsely-furnished, wall-to-wall carpeted house.

When I got there I fumbled with the light switch. Just a tiny bit of light came from the light fixture over the bed, creating a small cone of light. This surprised me. I expected the room to light up. Why was the house behaving in an unfamiliar way? I thought to myself, you’d think I was afraid of my own lover, Ken (not a real person). He was not home. I pondered for a minute. No, I am not afraid of him, but then I have only known him a few weeks. Where is he? Oh oh. He has abandoned me. I should have known better not to move in with him without knowing him longer. He did that sudden, unexplained disappearance thing to someone else. Boy am I in trouble. I can never afford this place on my own. Yet I’ll be stuck with the lease.

When I awoke I thought to myself what a ninny I had been to jump to conclusions so quickly. There could have been many explanations for Ken’s absence that did not mean he had left permanently. I have never had a lover named Ken. The only Ken I know is the late Ken Keyes (what a strange expression, explaining his absence as extreme tardiness). In the dream, my image of Ken was about my age, athletic and somewhat conventional, inhibited and reserved.

Deja Vu

At 12:30 AM of 2012-01-13 I dreamed I was in a posh theatre, preparing to give a lecture with two other speakers. The room was dark and there was no audience. One speaker was William Shatner whose podium faced away from the audience. I could not remember how I got there, but figured I must have agreed to do some sort of radio program.

The moderator asked us to do a mike check. I noticed Mr. Shatner reach forward close to the mike. I figured this must be the way you are supposed to do it, since he would have been professionally trained. I don’t remember who the other person was, but he was more famous than me. The moderator asked me to do my mike check. Since I had a relatively minor rôle, I did not expect this. I struggled to my feet and did one in a dry voice. Just then I noticed I needed to pee. I was simultaneously seized with an intense sense of deja vu. I remembered that last time I did not go to pee. The moderator waved to me where there was a washroom and said there was plenty of time. I thought, Dare I do something different? Who knows how I will disturb the universe! I recalled that last time I made it through the lecture ok.

I decided to go look for the washroom. I left the lecture hall and went into a mall with a food court looking for the washroom. As I was walking, I thought to myself, Why am I being so terrified to change minor decisions? The first time I made them, I did not give them a thought.

I saw a group of people sitting on benches. I discovered that one of the major people in my life was now female, wearing a nun’s habit and was talking about being the mother of child found abandoned recently. Further, I was no longer me. The body I used to inhabit was sitting on one of the benches.

Lion Taming

On 2012-01-26 I dreamed I was walking along a seawall. A teenage male lion got loose. For some reason everyone turned to me deal with the situation. I protested that I knew nothing about corralling lions. They countered that everyone else knew even less. I remembered you had to convince the lion you were a tougher customer than it was. I walked toward it confidently shouting Bad lion, bad cat. To my surprised this worked. The lion looked ashamed and started to shrink to the size of a house cat. It lay down on the ground and stopped moving. It was soaked in sweat and looked somewhat bedraggled. Then people started shouting at me saying I had killed it with my cruelly. I would hope the lion was symbolic of some misbehaving corporation. I had just written to Canadian Tire ripping shreds off them for dishonest practices the night before.

Greece

On 2012-01-26 I dreamed I was an expert in limestone and I had gone to Greece to study how limestone behaves in earthquakes. I was in a ruined building that at once point had been a glass wall onto the local bay so you could watch the fish. The glass wall itself was still intact though much of the building was in ruins. A local limestone expert was explaining to me the effects earthquakes had on this structure over the centuries. I decided to swim in the bay to get a closer look at the bottom. It turned out to be made of various sea creatures all entangled around each other. One fish played with me, bumping me like a puppy. Others appeared quite distressed at my intrusion. I dropped my keys. They were lost in a tangle of creatures. I discovered I could breathe underwater, but that did not particularly help in penetrating the web. I figured I would have to find someone with a long pole with a grabber on the end.

Bobby Kennedy

On 2012-03-20 I dreamed I was Bobby Kennedy’s paper boy. He lived on Broadway between Granville and Burrard on the south side of the street in Vancouver BC, a commercial area. He told me he was moving and he wanted me to arrange to have his mail forwarded. I tried to explain to him that I could not do that without some written authorisation. He pooh poohed this and said that should not be necessary. His voice was mellower than it was in real life.

The Ceiling

On 2012-03-28 I dreamed I was in the dining room of an old house. I looked at the ceiling where the pendulous lighting fixture attached to the ceiling. I saw a black rubbery knob next to the fixture. I was puzzled what it was and pulled on it. Suddenly there was a great whooshing sound like a life raft inflating. I could hear something flopping around above. I went up into the attic and discovered a person covered in a full body cast, flopping about. I said, I guess it must feel good to have been released from that pressure capsule. No she said, It hurts worse than ever. Damn you! I pondered what to do next and woke up.

The Horse

In the early part of the dream I had a complex harrowing adventure where I lost my luggage, shirt, shoes, wallet… All I had left was a pair of orange shorts and my house keys. I climbed up the front stairs to the house I owned back in the 1970s. I thought to myself, At least I have my keys. I am home now, safe and sound. I entered the living room where a very fat pale grey horse was chewing on the chesterfield cushions. It was perhaps half the height of a normal horse. There was a teenage girl sitting in an easy chair by the fireplace. I asked her, Why did you let this horse eat the cushions? Whatever she replied. Then I asked, Who are you?. She stared at me with the withering contempt only a teenage girl can muster. Then I woke up.

The Walk

I dreamed two young men visited me from India. They loved each other deeply, but I got the impression the relationship was not sexual. They asked me to go for a walk one evening. I was carrying an mechanical typewriter at the time and for some reason I thought it best to take it with me. As we walked I began to regret the decision. It came clear they were more interested in talking with each other than with me. They walked with arms around each others’ shoulders. I struggled to keep up. On the sidewalk we came to a part covered to protect it from falling debris from construction. There were a number of short Saudis in white robes and agal standing around, as if waiting for bus. I wanted to warn my visitors their affection might provoke them. Then a Saudi with a weather-beaten face started poking me in the back and shouting at me in Arabic. I could not understand a word he was saying. This went on and on. I wondered why he thought that repeating himself and talking loudly would make me understand. I listened carefully just in case he was actually speaking heavily accented English as so often happened to me in India. I heard a few random English words. I wondered if he imagined he was a comprehensible English speaker. One of my visitors said, He might be a Mullah. I tried to get away from him and woke up.

Planetary Exploration

On 2012-05-15, I dreamed I was in a large one-room D shaped building on another planet. The straight line of the D was three stories tall and transparent. The round part of the D was a marble-like white and bulged more than the D on this page. I was looking out onto a craggy desert brilliantly lit by a bluish sun. I heard on the radio that a supply ship coming to our base was in trouble. I was quite concerned for their safety. I personally would be OK. There were other supply ships. Then I started thinking that civilisation had tried to form all over the cosmos and nearly always they failed and quickly went extinct. You had to go for broke or you had no chance of success whatsoever. Further, there was no shame in failure. I felt exalted that I was part of an attempt even though our odds were slim.

The Restaurant

I dreamed my body was tall and thin, but pudgy. I was easily verclempt. I worked in a new theme restaurant. I was explaining to a young black couple what my function was. He was quite skeptical. I explained that the service was free. My job was to entertain them while they waited for their food. My job was to play a sort of game. It mostly consisted of asking them questions. The intent was to help them get to know each other in a safer and more relaxed environment than if they had talked directly with each other. He was worried I might ask embarrassing questions. I explained that they each had to use digression in how much to reveal. Revealing an adultery of 20 years ago might be unwise as it could lead to an incident. However, if they held back everything, the exercise would be pointless and boring.

Video Game

I dreamt I was induced to try a new video game that apparently used projected 3D holograms. It came in the form of flat square about 1 metre (3.28 ft) on a side. It was filled with caramel pudding. Little airplanes would appear out of the pudding scooting over the surface chasing even smaller planes. You were supposed to catch them with a spoon and eat them. They were made of a friable polyethylene. You had to keep working faster and faster. The planes evolved the ability to scoot around to the other side of the spoon to avoid your teeth. Then larger and larger ships started appearing, and finally large black worms with thick coiled legs. These were reputed to taste like liquorice, but I was not willing to try.

Dr. Richard Dawkins

I dreamt I met Dr. Richard Dawkins near the Empress hotel in Victoria. He offered me a ride in his car. He drove. I sat in the back seat. He said, You are one of my worst enemies, you know I said, That’s not true. I am one of your biggest fans. He said, Do you remember writing a letter about a textbook by Robinson and Nugent? I said, I do that all the time. I write the authors of books with lists of corrections and requests for improvements in the next edition. Well… He did not explain his connection with the particular text or why my letter had caused so much trouble.

Lucille Ball

On 2012-06-08 I dreamt that there was an invention that would let you study the lives of your parents. It was sort of like a 3D hologram. I was quite puzzled where the data for this came from. The device was not invented when my parents were young. Anyway, as I was puzzling how this could be possible, I noticed a young Lucille Ball in the next room. I said to my sisters, I didn’t know that Mom knew Lucy. Lucy suddenly glared at me. I didn’t know the holograms could hear us, see us or interact with us. I corrected myself, I mean, I did not know that Mom had met Lucy. Lucy than started talking to people. She addressed them by number. She counted them off in a clock wise circle, herself being #0. She barked at me #6, Roedy Green. I thought to myself What a martinet. Then a disembodied male voice asked me Why are you so nice to little old ladies? Then I woke up.

Dance Instructor

On 2012-06-30 I dreamed I was a dance instructor. My student was a tall athletic blond girl. I was trying to teach her a barn dance step. However, she paid no attention to my instruction. Finally, I asked her, what steps do you want to do?; figuring she might be able to do the steps if she made them up herself.

J.

On 2012-07-24, I dreamed my ex, who left suddenly 41 years ago and cut off all communication, suddenly decided he wanted to talk to me again. I kept asking What changed? why do you suddenly want to talk to me again? He had tears in his eyes and just said, Let the past be the past. Apparently he was no more willing to explain why he wanted to reestablish communication than he was to explain why he broke it off.

Finger Cure

Before I fell asleep, I had been listening to a audio book called Bonobo Handshake: A Memoir of Love and Adventure in the Congo, which has some horrifyingly graphic descriptions of some of the nasty things chimps do to each other and to humans. I dreamed I lived in the 1800s on a communal farm with some young Christian fundamentalists. The leader was a young man about 20 who looked like Ron Howard. He was mean bully. One of the others tried to suck up to him with extravagant praise. The leader said with a sneer, Is that courtin’ language I’m hearin’? We’ll have to use the finger cure to fix that! At that, the others grabbed the flatterer and dragged him off to the bathroom ripped down his pants and ripped his anus to pieces with their bare fingers so he bled to death. I was shocked and horrified. I could not think of anything I could do to stop them.

Ambush

I only remembered fragments of this 2012-09-25 dream that does not hang together very coherently. In one scene a number of people and myself were in a concrete tunnel behind some bleachers. A man was shooting at us. He went away for awhile. I walked to the end of the tunnel and when he came back to shoot us some more I smiled at him. I then confidently walked out. He was wearing a soccer uniform. He was about 2.74 metres (9 ft) tall with reddy blond hair, about 20. I gave him a hug and I asked him questions about his criminal activities which included rape and murder. He seemed to relax and was happy to have someone to confess to.

In another scene, I worked in a legal office. We were all invited out to lunch. We had to wear black shirts and head off to the restaurant, where there was nobody there. In the meantime, look-alikes for each of us moved into the office. A gang of prisoners were brought into the office. The giant, one of the prisoners, voluntarily walked into a room where he knew machine gunners were waiting. He was tired of trying to escape them. The vigilante look-alikes machined gun down the entire gang of prisoners, including the giant.

Sleepover

I dreamed I was a teenager living a big old house with perhaps 10 people. A large number of guests needed to spend the night. Everyone was running around trying to sort out the sleeping arrangements. Someone asked me where I wanted to sleep, I said My own bed, of course which was a big waterbed. I was quite excited wondering who might be assigned to share my bed. Another teenage boy smiled at me. I figured it might be him.

The Yellow Python

On 2012-10-17, I dreamed I was sleeping on a small couch, and saw a 2 metres (6.56 ft) yellow python with big brown spots crawl into the space between a bookshelf and the credenza holding the television. I awoke from sleeping on this exact same small couch and stared at the crack between the bookshelf and the TV wondering it if were possible a python had indeed crawled in there. Later in the day I mentioned the dream to my room mate who pointed out a python that big could not likely have squeezed into a crack that narrow.

Dream Logic

In the early morning hours of 2012-11-09 I dreamed I was sitting at my desk in the southwest corner of a large roomful of desks in an office building. It was after hours. I had just printed three letters to my ex whom I have not communicated with in 30 years I had not yet signed them. I hoped to write something on the outside of each envelope to intrigue him enough to open it. Just then he came around the corner, looking as he did 37 years ago when he left. I said Oh, what a co-incidence, I have just written you three letters after many decades. He replied You know I will just throw them away, but I’ll mail them for you. I detected a slight melting in the long-standing ice. I rapidly put the letters in envelopes and handed them to him. I felt guilty about not having time to sign the letters or put stamps on them. I would be sticking him for the price of the postage. Only when I woke up did the crazy illogic of the dream reveal itself.

The Grapes

On 2012-11-15 I dreamed my roommate and I were walking along a street in an ethnic neighbourhood. We stopped in front of a fruit market. I wanted to get a small quantity of grapes to eat on the spot. To my surprise my roommate bought a stack of crates of grapes about 3 metres (9.84 ft) high. I wondered what on earth was to be done with them and how we would get them home. I picked a small cluster of grapes from the bin at the front of the store and started to eat them. The shop keeper, an old man with a big moustache and a thick accent, came out and shouted me, Stop! Those are not your grapes!
I replied, But we just bought this huge stack of grapes!
He retorted But you did not pay for these grapes, you thief!
I wondered how this old loon stayed in business treating his customers so anally. He is violating his stereotype. Just then, I heard little noises coming out of the stack of grapes. They had morphed into puppies. I was quite worried about them being compressed into the crates and wondered where we could put them when we got home.

The Swamp

I dreamed a gung-ho Republican pressured me into going with him in his Jeep. He drove off at high speed into a swamp. We drove and drove. The wheels sunk deeper and deeper into the muck. I was concerned both for the damage we were doing to the swamp and that we would eventually become mired. The driver would have none of this and kept driving.

Frog Drilling

I dreamed I was in a lane with a bunch of good ole boys. They were catching frogs and putting them into tall thin cages made of green circuit boards. Then they used long thin electric drills to puncture the frogs. Great walls of water would come out of them. They explained they had to pop them before putting them into a microwave, or else they would explode.

Sharks

I dreamed I was swimming in a large salt water pool. A voice came over the public address system warning people that sharks had been sighted. I immediately jumped out of the water and climbed the structure, like an anchored ferry, in the center of the pool. I could see that the pool was designed as a pool within a much larger pool. I had been swimming in the inner one and the sharks were in the outer one. People were still swimming in the outer one. I could see the sharks heading for them. The sharks were slightly larger than the people. The people did not seem to be concerned and just pushed the sharks away. Then a large school of sharks came in, wearing electronic headgear. This was a military experimental facility. The headgear helped the sharks communicate with each other. I could hear them babbling away like military pilots. Just then I noticed a short surfer boy, who knew me from before and started telling me how it was now time to put our plans into action to communicate with dolphins and do all the things I had talked about earlier. I was overwhelmed by his enthusiasm not feeling up to confronting the military the way he demanded.

Christians

On 2013-04-28, I dreamed I was adopted by Christians. I was a teenager. They had a biological son as well about my own age. They were terrible scolds and screamed at us endlessly. They treated the biological son even worse than me. We worked at a family business. I was reading a book about the history of Exxon. I suddenly realised that this was not an appropriate activity while on duty at work and ran back to my computer terminal.

One day I read a about how you could get free tall tubes of marijuana about 3 metres (9.84 ft) tall. There were two recipes, one to produce something legal and one something illegal. I decided to try the legal recipe. As part of the process I had to buy a bottle of household glue to build the apparatus. The yield was zero, but I made the mistake of leaving the bottle of glue in the living room. The mother found it and was furious that it was not put away properly. She blamed my brother. He professed innocence, but she would have none of it. She made a federal case out of it. I considered going in to confess, but the parents were so furious and so crazy I figured this would be too dangerous, so I decided to hide outside. I could not find a shirt, so I had to go outside in the cold without it. I hid in the tall evergreen shrubs around the house.

Dying

On 2013-05-04, I dreamed I was staying in a hospital all painted deep forest green. The doctor said something about one of the other patients. I asked Are you having us patients running some sort of race?. He replied No, that is the way we say the time of death.. The other patient just ahead of me in the queue looked dead. His face looked like a blighted apple tree. I made an inquiry about him. The doctor said, span No. He is not dead, just almost. What you said gave me an idea. He started poking around his face.

NRA (National Rifle Association) Day

On 2013-05-12 I dreamed I was a wealthy teenager attending a traveling university. It had docked in California and I went out to explore. People were running about all over the place paying no attention to each other. I was unable to attract the attention of anyone to find out where I was or how to get back to the ship. It was an unofficial holiday announced by the NRA. People would buy crates of baby chicks then shoot them with shotguns at close range. There were crates of bloody chick pieces everywhere, mostly just a red mash. I came across a vendor who was selling crates of 5 cm (1.97 in) yellow or red birds for the same process.

Chris

On 2013-05-13 I dreamed I was in possession of Chris M.’s (a real person) cellphone. I have not seen him since 1964 when we graduated from high school. The phone rang. I tried to answer it, but could not figure out how to open it. It rang again some minutes later. This time I figured out how to get the handset off by twisting it. The voice of a young male asked for Chris. I told him he had not been in all day (unusual for Chris) and offered to take a message. The young man asked me to push some buttons and waggle a lever on the phone. I was not familiar with the operation of the phone. I was suspicious this would erase messages so I declined, explaining lamely I did not know how to use the phone. I wished I could figure out how to record the voice. If Chris had met foul play, this voice could be a major clue.

The Runner

On 2013-05-19 I dreamed I was in my nineties. I wanted to devote my time to some project which I now forget. I composed a newspaper ad talking about my training in Japan earlier in life. I was a runner. I could run effortlessly about the speed of a car. I would shoot my legs out low and far forward and in doing so I would compress space after the manner of the spice guild space travellers in Dune on a small scale. Me running in a community oddly promoted harmony. I wanted to find a community that would support me financially.

Fist Fight

On 2013-05-21 I dreamed I was in the House Of Commons in Ottawa. The portly MPs (Member of Parliaments) had all been replaced by athletic teenage MPs. They were having a fist fight about the Duffy/Wallin/Brazeau senate scandals. I watched a teen-age Steven Harper leap over a bench pursued by an angry mob. I was repeatedly hitting a Conservative MP (Member of Parliament) in his weasely face with the back of my hand. He looked at me terrified. I realised I was holding back, not hitting him nearly hard enough considering what he had done.

Japanese Forest

On 2013-05-23 a had a long dream set in historical Japan in a forest. I was trying to unsuccessfully persuade the people to preserve the ecology. All that I remember clearly is one scene, like a delicate painting in dramatic grays, yellows and reds of the misted forest on fire.

Sculptor

On 2013-05-25 I dreamed I was a sculptor. I made 25% life size highly detailed bronze statues of young humans that I programmed with random micro movements to give the illusion of life. They were surrounded by mists which condensed on the naked skin and formed rivulets. The patterns the rivulets formed were symbolic of various political attitudes. The viewer could adjust the flows by changing his matching internal attitudes. They were so lifelike they were spooky, even though I was the one who designed them.

Russian Shopping Centre

On 2013-05-26 I had the most exhilarating dream of my life. I dreamed I was window shopping at a Russian shopping centre. It was situated on the side of a mountain. It had a huge plaza covered in triangular orangey-brown tiles, dotted with trees. I sat down on a kitchen chair. It started to slide downhill gradually picking up speed. When it got to the bottom, it veered left up a hill. I expected it to slow down, but it went faster and faster, flying from bump to bump. I started composing/singing a symphony. I sang all the parts at once, including a huge male chorus. It sounded very Russian, a bit like Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. Just as I came to the last triumphant bar, the chair rolled to a stop.

Johnny Cash

On 2013-05-30 I dreamed Johnny Cash and his entourage came to visit. A tall young blond man with tousled hair and a nice six pack pushed everyone to go swimming in a local lake even though it was still quite cold. We went and it was more comfortable and fun than I imagined it would be. Then Johnny sat on the couch and sang. He held a black rectangular object about 20 cm (7.87 in) long to his throat. It was some sort of device to amplify humming. He then tried to get me to sing. I was quite reluctant. I was supposed to sing and hum simultaneously and this box amplified the humming. I was beginning to get the hang of it. He was highly complimentary. Thought to myself If Johnny Cash thinks I can sing, I guess I can sing.

Memorial Service

On 2013-06-09 I dreamed I went to a memorial service for a boy who had been killed 20 years earlier in a bicycle accident. They asked people to collect samples of wild plants they associated with the boy and send them along with comments. Ahead of time, the church dried the plants and put them in glass tubes and translated the comments into Latin to ensure inscrutability and put them too into glass tubes. They displayed the tubes stacked in a wooden rack.

Elephant Flying

On 2013-07-15 I dreamed I met a troop of Chinese acrobatic dancers. They told me they were learning to fly like elephants. Given that elephants do not fly, I thought this a strange thing to say, so I followed them to their rehearsal. They indeed buzzed around high in the air. I said, But you do know elephants don’t fly, so it does not really make sense to emulate the way they fly. They said When did you notice? How high had we got before you noticed? Confused, I said 9.14 metres (10 yards) Then the authorities came because they thought this must be terrorism.

The Killbras

On 2013-07-29 I dreamed I was near a cage of killbras. They were animals, about 2.13 metres (7 ft) tall, conical shaped, with shaggy brown hair. They were a bit like giant dim-witted chickens. They were trying to get out and kill people, including me. The TV reports each week totalled the number of people killed by killbras, but public opinion was that nothing could or should be done about them.

The Tattooed Man

On 2013-08-18 I dreamed I went to a party in a high rise. I noticed a man tattooed from head to foot in white, with a design of a vines, leaves and purple flowers. I was impressed with the unity of the design. Tattoos are usually a hodge-podge of random symbols. I somehow could not look has head. It was just difficult to look at as if it were too bright and I had just come out of the dark. I vaguely noticed his hair looked like an inverted tree root. I looked closely at his neck. It was clear, as if filled with water or plastic. His his veins had been treated to look like plant stems. I said, You are so beautiful, I can’t help myself. I kissed him quickly on the neck. I was worried this would make him angry, since he had not been flirtatious. I did not even know if he were gay. However, he encircled me in his arms and pressed against me. I felt completely comfortable and accepted.

Eye Transplants

Circa 2013-10-19 I dreamed I was staying in a small southern town. Some years before a mad scientist had kidnapped a number of people, including myself and transplanted their eyes. Since I was less afraid of the scientist, he favoured me by transplanting the eyes of black woman, into me, leaving her blind. I was in the back bedroom of the house overlooking a laneway. I saw the black, blind woman walking down the lane, muttering to herself, cursing her fate to be blind. She had a seeing eye dog, a hopelessly small lap dog. I did not want to deal with her, so I ducked down and lay on a mattress. Suddenly something came flying through the window. I had no idea what it was. It could have been a bat, a wallet, a shoe… I was seized with terror. I felt silly, but I felt I had to scream out just to get some human contact to help me calm down. But I could not make any noise. I kept trying. I eventually made a sort of honk like a penguin. I thought to myself no one will hear that or interpret it as a cry for help. I thought I will just have to go outside and see if I can find some people. Just as I was heading out the door a slow-talking southerner approached. He told me that I had to come with him. I thought, oh, dear, this guy is a sheriff and they are going to lock me up. I said I’d rather not.. he asked Why not? You are hostile I replied.

I am not hostile! he boomed and held out a sheriff shield badge.

Plague

Circa 2013-10-20 I dreamed I worked fighting epidemics. A plague of parasitic eels had hit the city. My job was to evaluate an apartment building. They would not let me in, for fear I would infect them. This was rather silly since it was obvious that all but one of them had already died of the eels. I got in had a look around There were dead people lying all over the lobby, with little piles of about four eels lying beside each one.

Birth Trauma

I dreamed I owned a 151.42 litres (5.35 cubic feet) aquarium. I bought a second one and set it up next to the first. I planned to move some fish to the new aquarium, so I set up a pipe bridge between the two to allow water to flow and for the fish to explore the new tank. One male fish was very large 60.96 cm (2 ft) long. He had a human-like head and red hair and a white fishy body. He started to go up the pipe. He was clearly too big. I tried to warn him, but he persisted. He collapsed his shoulders and head like an octopus. He was trapped in the tube. I was overwhelmed by sympathetic terror of being so trapped. I woke feeling for a desperate need for reassurance, as I might request as a child.

Watching Horse

I dreamed I was sleeping on my couch in the living room. A half-size horse walked in from the kitchen and went to the window to look out. I woke up, sleeping on my couch in the living room. To my astonishment, a half-size horse was looking out the window. I put my glasses on and discovered this was just as illusion, created by the way some chairs and furniture were placed.

Oprah’s Breakup

On 2013-12-17, I dreamed I was in a room with about ten other people including Oprah Winfrey. She was just breaking up with her younger girlfriend. The girlfriend was cold and cruel. She basically said, I got out of Oprah what I needed and now I am leaving. Oprah looked at me. I saw deep pain in her eyes. I thought, She is probably feeling what I felt when my lover dumped me in 1975. It is just unbearable. I tried to say something consoling. The other people in the room told me to shut up since I was just new there.

Terror

On 2013-12-18, I dreamed I was looking out my window. Across the street was a teenage boy who looked a bit like James in Twin Peaks standing under a street light. For some reason, I could see him even though the Venetian blinds were closed. I suddenly became paralysed and could not speak. I tried to cry out but could not. I was terrified. My roommate came in and woke me up. She said I had been making tiny high pitched cries of distress. I went back to sleep and had a dream I was in the house I grew up in. The kitchen had a Dutch door, a door split into two separately closable doors with a window panel in the top half. A woman came to the door carrying a enormous fat cat that filled the whole window. For some reason, I was utterly terrified. I think she figured I was a vet and could treat it.

Worf Sloth

On 2013-12-22 I dreamed I was sitting at my computer trying to figure out if some printing software written by Mormons was any more advanced than some I wrote back in the early 80s. I noticed a 1.83 metres (6 ft) sloth was standing out outside my window peering in. Its colours made it look like it was wearing Worf’s Star Trek uniform.

Laundromat

On 2013-12-23 I dreamed I was called to fix the electronics for a laundromat. I had done it many years ago, before the age of personal computers. I was pleased to see a chart on the wall with all the wires, all neatly labelled and colour coded. I thought this will be easy to fix. Then I remembered I had made an agreement with the owners of the laundromat many years ago to take a percentage of the take. I had forgotten all about it. After all these years, I would have accumulated quite a bit of money. I noticed what appeared to be sabotage, wires cut and crossed over. This was going to take more time than I thought. Just then some people came in and started jittering at me, When will it be ready?. I started to feel rattled.

Fence

On 2013-12-31 I dreamed there was a tall wooden fence separating a public park from a private home. I was sitting in a lawn chair at one end of the fence, hidden in a small forest. It was cold and raining. I knew that people did not want me there. I was too tired to move somewhere else. So I rocked back and forth to hide myself from anyone in the park then anyone in the home. This strategy did not succeed. Three women came out of the home to confront me. They demanded to see my ID. I did my best to charm them, but to no avail.

Beached Whale

On 2014-01-03 I dreamed I lived on a tropical beachfront home. To demonstrate something to my students, I asked the service that normally cleaned my beach to leave it be for a while. Two pigs, a whale and a dog all washed ashore bloated and covered in a bubbly slime. I thought perhaps I had over done it.

Earthquake

On 2014-01-27 I dreamed Alabama had a major earthquake. I report this just in case the dream is prophetic.

Olympics

On 2014-02-10 I dreamed I was on security staff helping look after a winter Olympics team. All of us were wearing Star Trek-like uniforms. I talked to a blond male athlete. He moaned I wish I would get kicked off the team. That is what we all want. It is way too grueling. An alarm came though that they thought there were spies or spying equipment on the grounds. We set out tearing everything apart to look for it. I saw a small dog with bat-like ears pointed to the sky. The ears were about 38.10 cm (1¼ ft) across. In a Star Trek episode, such a dog would necessarily be instrumental. I thought perhaps this strange dog might be useful in finding the spies. I looked about for a box to carry it in. The dog jumped on the back of my neck and started biting me. Blood was flowing. A cameraman said to let it bite. They needed the shot. I endured stoically.

Terrorists

On 2014-02-10 I dreamed I was living in a time when social order had broken down. Terrorists groups patrolled shaking people down for money. The groups has silly names like Mmmmmmm and Yummmmmy. We were captured by one group. They seemed very young for terrorists, maybe 15. They looked like blond Russians. They wore an odd uniform, that left each butt cheek exposed. They daubed red cosmetic into the hollow of each cheek. They behaved like Nazis compulsively saluting each with by throwing a foot forward. They seemed very disorganised so it was fairly easy to escape without giving up any money.

Audition for Pope

On 2014-02-17 I dreamed I was in the Vatican watching auditions for the next Pope. They were being held something like an American Idol contest. Fat old men, dressed in shiny sequined gowns of various colours, with long black wigs were in a line, lip synching to drag queen music.

Special Effects

On 2014-02-17 I had a delightful dream. I was in a high-tech shopping mall with a fountain. The water splashing would for a fraction of a second take on a shape, like a young lady sitting on a log, then quickly disappear into the random swirls. I wondered if I just imagined what I saw or it were really there.

Chopsticks

On 2014-02-17 I dreamed two disembodied red chop sticks bit me in the leg. My leg was numb, so I could not assess the damage.

Obama

On 2014-02-19 I dreamed I got on a bus and Obama was sitting at the wheel. I said to myself I must be hallucinating this. The odds of this happening in real life are very remote. I said I have been meaning to talk to you about quite a few issues. Just than secret service people grabbed me by the arms and said Time’s up.

Rachael Maddow

On 2014-06-29 I dreamed I was watching Rachael Maddow on a television about 2 metres (6.56 ft) across. She was dressed in a fluffy blue evening gown. She climbed up a man’s back onto his shoulders. Then she suddenly jumped off, did a somersault in the air and landed on her feet. I was quite impressed at this trick. How could Rachael Maddow have had the time to learn acrobatics? Then two children, a boy and a child leapt from her loins dressed in formal attire. I realised they must have been up there on the man’s shoulders too. How did they do this?

Google Maps

On 2014-06-29 I dreamed I went to visit the inventor of Google Maps. He had been working on this since 1942. He showed by an early version that consisted of four ping pong tables. Two had a 3D scale model of a city. The other two had lines and grids. Puck-like objects floated above the tables suspended on wires. Somehow the Opera browser was involved. I woke up 15 times and each time went back to sleep and resumed the dream.

Defending Oprah

On 2014-06-30 I dreamed I was composing a web page summarising web sites dedicated to ending violence against females. There were dozens of them. Oprah did one of the most important ones. For some reason, this was considered scandalous. I did my best to defend her and in the process attracted vitriol.

Paris

On 2014-10-10, I dreamed I was in Paris. I went down a long escalator into a famous historic room. It was decorated with thousands of frosted metallic tiles of various sizes in every shade of gold and rose. They announced the room was closing. About 1/3 of the visitors complained they had either lost their glasses or cell phones and needed time to find them. I thought it odd so many people could have been so careless and also odd they all spoke English.

I then looked across the street an a famous old apartment building. There were oval pools of shimmering light on in. The guide explained a nobleman once lived there who received a gift in a wooden chest. The gift was wrapped in layer upon layer of silver foil. He gave the foil to his neighbours to decorate the exteriors of their apartments.

Killing Angels

On 2014-11-22, I dreamed I was living in a community debating whether to kill angels. Oddly, nobody had any doubt as to the existence of angels. Kinder Morgan wanted permission to kill them to enhance its bottom line.

Harper’s Law

On 2014-13-11, I dreamed Stephen Harper had enacted a new law enforcement system. He would not reveal any details about it. People complained it was spying on them and not doing anything about crime. As a young reporter, I decided to write a story about it. I discovered there were now advanced computers installed almost everywhere to monitor criminal activity. If the computer suspected some, it automatically took a report and gathered forensic information. The computers automatically put this information in transparent plastic boxes and filed it in vaults. I visited one of the vaults. Each box contained what looked like a white sea urchin carved out of turnip. My guide would not tell me what urchins were for, but I surmised they were some sort of cultured sample of living matter. The computers classified each box. Those labelled domestic violence were never again opened. The public was incensed for several reasons:

Future Ease

On 2014-12-14, I dreamed I found a way to visit the future. The catch was, I could bring back with me only abstractions, no details, just trends, no examples. This might have been for some fundamental feature of the universe, e.g. the way the details of your individual future are not firmly nailed down. I discovered that everything had been made easier and dumbed down. The basic guiding principle was don’t worry your pretty little head. You could never find out how anything worked. You could never open the black boxes. I don’t remember this particular detail from the dream, but an example would be curtains would open and close all by themselves, with all the mechanisms carefully hidden and no ability to find out anywhere how they worked.

Ssibilants

On 2014-12-15, I dreamed scientists had discovered something was eroding away at space itself, in minute quantities. They were baffled at the mechanism. The loss was insignificant for any practical point of view. The radio stations reporting it used sound effects of bursts of white noise to illustrate it. The truly odd thing was, the effect was stronger in the presence of people with a faith-based world view. These people came to be known as ssibilants. Christians were terrified. They demanded that governments spend trillions to put a stop to it. I argued that climate change was millions of times a bigger threat, but they insisted all resources go into this. Climate change, God would look after. The dream ended with me floating in space feeling both the expansion of space and the eroding effect. The subjective expansion rate was considerably faster than the Hubble constant.

Inappropriate Behaviour

On 2014-12-16, I dreamed I lived in a small American town. There was an elderly man and a little girl about six who lived in the community. She used to sit on his lap on a lawn swing on his porch for hours at a time. The townspeople were concerned about this inappropriate relationship and inappropriate behaviour. They talked about it among themselves, but nobody did anything to stop it. Later they came to understand the basis of the relationship. Both were dying of cancer and were consoling each other.

Credit Union of the Future

On 2015-01-07, I dreamed I visited the Vancity Credit Union in the future. They had just done a major experimental renovation. The walls had huge purple and white swirling patterns. The building was dimly lit. The purple and white patterns glowed. In addition, faint graffiti-like patterns would intermittently superimpose and flicker over the white. The employees wore white face masks. Computers projected designed on them. The computer tried to project designs on me, but I did not have a mask. A employee offered me a mask.

The Jewelry Store

I dreamed I was visiting San Francisco. I went to a familiar jewelry store. It was no longer a store but a wedding photography studio where you rented expensive jewelry for the photos. A staff person redirected me to a new popular and gay establishment across the street, expressing the two adjectives in a disdainful manner. I went across the street and met my sister by co-incidence and a handsome Philippino boy who knew me, but to my embarrassment whom I could not recall. It was an opulent place with the pieces displayed around the edges of the room. There was a thick red carpet and people milling about the middle. There did not appear to be any jewelry per se for sale. They sold unique objects. There were a row of large urns that looked like giant tulips. A piece of art deco in blue and violet frosted glass caught my eye. Everything looked very expensive. I was looking at an elephant about 75 cm (2.46 ft) high, dressed in elaborate Indian robes, with dangling crystals of glass. The crystals had large price tags, indicating you could buy them individually for $4 to $5 each. A man with a British accent and a beefeater costume approached and in a friendly way explained that there were tags on it with racist epithets, to express the hated of the time. The establishment was not sure if they were original or added by a counterfeiter to raise its value. He did not mention price. I figured if you had to ask, you could not afford it. I thought it odd that hatred would add value to an object. There were also life size statues of wildlife and children with terrified eyes. They had tiny red caps. I learned these creatures were still alive, but trapped, almost frozen in time. This ensured perfect fidelity and no deterioration. The red caps generated the time-freezing field. I was horrified that the wealthy would be so callous in their pursuit of art.

Dancing Bears

On 2015-09-04, I dreamed I was in a national park watching four bears. They were twirling and dancing in a graceful Chinese way trailing ribbons, in a combination of dance and martial arts. I thought, these bears are having too much contact with humans. I noticed a young man, a Swedish tourist trying to touch the bears. I thought What an idiot! These tourists don’ realise how dangerous bears are. Then I noticed one of the bears had a four year old boy stretched out across its lap. I had a pair of pruning shears with me. I figured if I snipped the tip of one of its fingers it would convince all the bears to run away and leave the boy intact. I tried, but the bear’s finger was so tough I could not cut it. Then a man slipped in beside me with a bigger pair of pruning shears. He nipped off two fingers and all the bears ran away.

Kidnapped

I dreamed a young lady all dressed in pink arranged a job for me on a remote archaeological dig. We lived in tents, and spend most of our time outside. When the contract ended, the Christians who had contracted us refused to let us go home. The Christians controlled the vehicles and communications. They insisted we continue to work without pay. We wrote reports about our dig findings. We tried to hide messages in them about our plight. We could not make them too obvious or the Christians would notice. We could not make them too subtle or no outsiders would nice. Trying to get them just right was very stressful. It took months to discovered our message has not arrived. Eventually we were freed. I rode back on a high speed European train. It took me into a hotel. My small piece luggage travelled separately on conveyor belts. My room was a giant auditorium. They explained that I had use of the left 1/3 of it. This was called a sui. A woman in a dark blue uniform came in, fluffed my pillow on a bench and stood demanding a tip.

Kangaroo

On 2016-05-26 I dreamed I massaged a kangroo, and took notes about it for a book. The kangaroo was very relaxed.


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