Free Range Eggs Free Range Eggs
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Introduction

I presented this mini essay on The New VI TV station Speakers’ Corner where you can create a 2 minute video for a dollar.

The Case for Free Range Eggs.

I know some people who hire sadists to torture chickens.

The sadists break off their beaks. They pack them in tiny cages so tightly they cannot even turn around. They wire their feet to the floor.

Do you know who these people are? — people like you, too cheap to buy free range eggs. They buy “factory” eggs to save a buck. In the process they torture the chickens who provide the eggs.

The motive is not sadistic pleasure, but merely to compete with the cheapest possible eggs.

If that dollar extra is too much, try shopping in Cook Street village where free range eggs cost only $2.50 CAD a dozen, the same as “factory” eggs.

Chickens are not the brightest animals, but if you get to know them, they have personalities. They are affectionate. They have emotions. They don’t deserve this disgraceful treatment from you.

Finally, free range eggs are better for you. Chickens grubbing in a field are far healthier than ones trapped in filthy disease-ridden cages. It will be blindly obvious if you buy half a dozen each of free range egg and factory eggs. The free range eggs have stronger shells, are less runny, with firmer yolks, brighter colour and test much better. You won’t want to go back even if you relish the thought of making chickens suffer.

The Meatrix: a takeoff on the movie the Matrix about the propaganda that holds factory farms in place.

In the USA the term free range has no official meaning, so farmers can sell you anything they want and still label it free range. Buyer beware. Ditto for the terms cage-free, free-roaming and yard eggs. In Canada free range means able to run around freely outside. free run in contrast just means uncaged in a barn. organic just means raised without pesticides in their food, not that the chickens were treated humanely. veggie fed means chickens were deprived of eating their natural diet of insects pecking in the grass.

Roedy’s Politically Correct Free Range Scrambled Eggs

Rhode Island Red free range brown eggs
Rhode Island Red free range brown eggs
Here is my time-tested scrambled egg recipe. I have been making it since I was about 9. (I’m now 60 years old.) I have gradually embellished it over the years from a simple recipe that came with the family’s indestructible Sunbeam electric frying pan.

Mandatory Ingredients

Optional Ingredients

Canadian porcelain garlic
Canadian porcelain garlic

Method

Trudeau garlic press
Trudeau garlic press
  1. Put the butter in a frying pan and heat to medium. For an electric frying pan, set it to 160°C (320°F). I use a large, conventional, non-stick TeFal pan.
  2. Either peel and finely chop the garlic cloves or squeeze them through a garlic press (I recommend the Trudeau soft handled, heavy duty garlic press. It is reasonably sturdy and easy to clean.). Brown the garlic and fill the house with anticipation of glories to come.
  3. Brown your optional ingredients with the garlic, except the cheese!
  4. Get some multigrain toast going and some fresh ground coffee.
  5. Mix the eggs, milk, salt and pepper in a bowl. To catch the splashing, put the bowl in the sink and whip with a Braun multimix until bubbly. For extra fluffy eggs, whip the whites and yolks separately then fold together.
  6. Pour the egg mixture into the butter and garlic. Keep scraping the mixture off the bottom of the pan and turning it over using a teflon egg flipper. Don’t be too compulsive about this. The more relaxed you are, the more generous the chunks of egg will be and the more likely they will be lightly browned. You mainly want to avoid burning.
  7. Alternatively, if you are in a hurry, you can cook the mixture in a microwave in two batches for about 2 minutes. This creates a fluffy but leathery result.
  8. Just before the eggs are ready, toss in the grated cheese. If you put it in too soon, it will make the eggs lumpy. If you wait too long it won’t have time to melt. You will just have to learn by experience to get the timing just right. Err on the side of too late to start.
  9. Don’t wait until every last drop of the liquid has congealed before taking the pan off the heat. It will continue to cook of its own accord even on the plate. It is best to serve the eggs slightly too sloppy than slightly too leathery.
  10. Turn out onto buttered multi-grain, oat or flax toast. You can cut the toast up into 1 inch squares for children or to pamper adults. Serve with a mug of freshly ground fair trade coffee, and some exotic juice.
This makes enough to serve three adults if no one has seconds. Don’t be afraid to vary the proportions, particularly the egg-milk ratio. Try this recipe just once and compare it with restaurant scrambled eggs made with anemic caged eggs. I think the taste difference will convince you to switch to free range, even if you don’t care about the animal cruelty issue.
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