aging : Gay & Black Glossary

The aging gay man faces loss of status, good looks, strength, sexual prowess… These all give the ego a severe battering.

It is not all gloom. If you tackle it the right way, this aging experience teaches you realise how shallow gay society is, and how shallow human games are in general. It is all so arbitrary. You develop an inner sense of worth, quite independent of how others view you. This is a much firmer foundation. There is a great sense of relief and relaxation.

You also get a chance to laugh at your younger self, dragged about by nose by your hormones. Only in later years can you see how controlled, obsessive, and unfree you were. You had no choices. You were drawn to totally inappropriate partners like a moth to a flame, even when intellectually you knew you were headed for disaster.

As you age, you use your head more. You can appreciate a wider range of people. Though in my own case, nostalgia is so intense. When you are young, it feel is if you will be young forever. When you are old, it feels as if you got to be young for just a few wonderful months. The years race by faster and faster at a clip unimaginable to the young. It seems you go to bed a young man and wake up the next morning an old one.