A child can be a great teacher in your journey toward higher consciousness. A young child can give you a continuous demonstration of what it is like to live in the here and now before the rational mind affects the stream of consciousness. A child can turn its consciousness fully and spontaneously to each new life situation. When denied something that it wants, it may respond with an ego trip by crying. But one minute later, it can turn its attention to the here-and-now situation that life offers and be joyous and laughing again. Thus the consciousness of an infant does not grasp situations and churn them with the rational mind.
Children are very sensitive mirrors of your consciousness level. When they are surrounded by peaceful, loving people, they reflect a warm, flowing state most of the time. When they are surrounded by driven, other-directed, manipulating people, they rapidly reflect this tension and uptightness in their behavior.
Your level of consciousness determines your world. If you live in a world of fears and anxiety, you will pull the lower consciousness people around you into your psychic space. If your consciousness largely operates on the Power Center, any child with whom you continually interact will be pulled into your subject-object type of non-caring manipulations. If your responses to your child continually show loving thoughtfulness and acceptance of your child as an individual, this will be reflected in the child’s consciousness.
Your head creates your child. If you view your child as awkward, you will create an awkward child. If you view your child as an interference to your important daily activities, you will create exactly this type of child. The images and classifications through which you perceive a child will be sensitively picked up by the child and will play a large part in how he reacts to you.
The people who interact continually with a young child determine the nature and strength of the future addictions that he or she must uplevel to preferences to grow into higher consciousness. When a child is around highly dominating people, a large portion of his energy will remain preoccupied with the Power Center of Consciousness. Upon reaching maturity, the adult will regard power as the key to happiness in the world. The child will have been bruised by uncaring, Shut up, be quiet and do exactly as I say subject-object manipulation. The child will feel that happiness correlates with the amount of personal power and prestige one can use to dominate and control the people and situations in one’s life. A child who is around flowing, higher consciousness people (who regard the child’s needs as they would their own) will easily grow into the Love Center of Consciousness. With coming adulthood, he or she will have a life style that is characterized by harmoniously flowing with the here-and-now situations of life. The child will know deep in his or her being that love and expanded consciousness will always bring whatever is needed for happiness.
If you observe the interaction between most adults and children from the point of view of the Security Center, Sensation Center and Power Center of Consciousness, you will feel compassion for the robot-like behavior that has ensnared both the child and the adult. The consciousness of the adult will tend to magnify most of the actions of the child as threats to the adult’s security, sensation, or power. Since children mirror our consciousness, this leads the child to develop strong addictive programming on the first three levels. The developing being will have heavy psychological obstacles that must be reprogrammed to permit growth into the Love Center and Cornucopia Center. No one can progress to these higher centers as long as he or she feels that happiness is just a matter of having enough security, sex, money, prestige and power!
We create security, sensation and power addictions in children when we try to dominate them with such emotional demands as, I’ve told you a thousand times to… What is the matter with you? Don’t you ever listen I’ve never seen a dumber… For the last time, I want you to get this straight… Just do that once more and… As Dr. Haim Ginott says,
Our normal talk drives children crazy: the blaming and shaming, preaching and moralizing, accusing and guilt-giving, ridiculing and belittling, threatening and bribing, evaluating and labeling. Watch how you feel when people talk to you in such heavily dualistic ways.
We should replace our alienating, criticizing words with I language. Instead of, You are a liar and no one can trust you, say, I don’t like it when I can’t rely on your words — it is difficult for us to do things together. You talk only about your exact feelings here and now. You don’t chew over the past or threaten future punishments. You skip the disparaging pseudo-analysis of the child’s character based on your addictive ego demands.
How do you use the experience of being with a child to aid you in your growth toward higher consciousness? The child can help you develop an awareness of what an unfurnished mind is like. When a child is first born, he does not chew over situations with his rational mind. He is just totally right here — right now. You can observe in a very young infant some (but definitely not all) of the characteristics of higher consciousness. A child is usually very perceptive in picking up the true feelings and vibrations of those around him. The nervous system of a young child is heavily programmed for crying and other emotional behaviors that can dominate the consciousness of adults within earshot so that they will be aware of his or her needs. As fellow travellers on the road to higher consciousness, we should see our adult rôle s as loving and serving every child. This helps the child to make a rapid transition from crying and other emotional behavior to a programming that permits meeting needs through love and expanded consciousness.
The creation of a heaven on earth in which everyone lives in a world free of wars, misunderstanding and duality on every level requires that we no longer train our children to develop intense security, sensation and power addictions. It is easy to blame the problems of the world on governments, schools and uncaring economic institutions, but this is only an evasion. All of these institutions are us. The non-loving, subject-object actions of all of these institutions have been created and are maintained by addictions that we have acquired. Even the polarity of our addictive opposition may strengthen what we may wish to change!
The only effective and permanent way to change the world in which we live is to change our level of consciousness. And one of the best ways to repair the strong addictive programming that has been conditioned into our biocomputer is to interact with children. We can save them from the suffering that would await them if they were to develop heavily programmed power addictions and demands. In return, we will benefit by being reminded of what it is like to live in the here and now, to enjoy a consciousness that is not continually churned up by the rational mind and to benefit by the mirror which the child provides to enable us to see our own addictions.
Your life will give you continual opportunities to show the child (and yourself) whether you are on a power level of consciousness or a love level of consciousness. Every glass of milk that the child spills enables you to show him the world in which your Conscious-awareness lives. Do you say (or even silently feel), I’ve told you a thousand times to be more careful. The next time you spill a glass of milk you are going to stand in the corner for one hour. I’m sick and tired of your clumsy carelessness. It’s about time you listened to me. Why don’t you get that rag and clean it up? Are you helpless? If so, you will be training the child to dominate his consciousness by security, sensation and power addictions. And since your consciousness creates your universe through these filters, you will live in a subject-object world in which your inner serenity is constantly threatened by the acts of the child. You are simply using the spilled milk to create heavier and heavier low-consciousness programming for both of you. And a low-consciousness life is full of spilled milk — in one form or another.
When a child spills the milk, you could welcome it as an opportunity to help both of you grow into higher consciousness. You can say to yourself, The milk is spilled — right here, right now. Fussing about it won’t unspill the milk. It will simply irritate both myself and the child. An upset child may unconsciously knock over another glass. I’ve knocked over glasses hundreds of times. This is just a normal part of living. The immature muscle control of a child increases the probability of spilled milk. But even now as an adult I sometimes spill things. So we’re losing a few ounces of milk, but that’s absolutely no reason to lose our love and serenity. And you keep on talking about whatever you were saying before the milk was spilled. It should be cleaned up as a usual thing to do. You don’t need to head-trip the child by saying such things as, That’s all right, everybody spills milk, unless the feelings of the child call for further words. You convey those thoughts by your loving, flowing acceptance of the spilled milk and your simple, natural cleaning-up actions.
After spilling the milk, the child will be very sensitive to your feelings and will pick up any paranoia or antagonism in your consciousness — even though you may be very sweet and tactful in your words. If you can really accept the spilled milk (as well as other non-preferred happenings in your life) and permit your consciousness to flow in a here-and-now loving way, there will be very little spilled milk in your life. But if your consciousness gets caught up in one incident after another that involves your security, sensation, or power programming, you can create a living hell in your daily interaction with a child.
The Twelve Pathways presented in Chapter 4 should be memorized so that you can get them below your rational level into the deeper circuitry of your biocomputer that controls how you see your world. These Twelve Pathways show you the road to higher consciousness. Whenever you are angry, fearful, or jealous, you will find that it is because you have ignored one or more of the Pathways. While they apply to every situation in your life, it is especially important that you use them when interacting with children. You are giving them models of programming that they will duplicate to make it in life.
Children will rapidly integrate the challenges of life when they are around adults who openly communicate from the Fourth or higher Centers of Consciousness. The Seventh Pathway says, I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to fully communicate my deepest feelings, since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck in my illusion of separateness from other people. This is especially important with children, for their ability to tune in to you on the feeling level is very accurate. If you feel one thing and say something else, you will be training them in dishonesty. Even though their rational minds may not yet permit them to be as adept at word games as you are, their relative freedom from rationality makes them more perceptive of feelings even though you cleverly manipulate them with words. Children intuitively sense your dishonesty and will not trust you. However, they will mirror your conduct by learning to manipulate you with words. When you label and criticize them, they will mirror this by labeling and criticizing you. When you threaten and bribe them, they will threaten and bribe you. And they can often beat you at mirroring your games!
Always remember that everything that makes you upset in your interactions with a child represents your addictions — not his. When your addictive programming makes you upset, you will respond to a child in a way that helps to program addictions into his biocomputer. When you respond to every here-and-now situation in a loving, conscious way, you will be able to do exactly what needs to be done. The Ninth Pathway is very helpful, I act freely when I am tuned in, centered, and loving, but if possible I avoid acting when I am emotionally upset and depriving myself of the wisdom that flows from love and expanded consciousness.
Although you will find all of the Pathways useful when living with children, the Twelfth Pathway should be particularly uppermost in your consciousness: I am perceiving everyone, including myself, as an awakening being who is here to claim his or her birthright to the higher consciousness planes of unconditional love and oneness. How do you treat an awakening being? Do you criticize him, belittle him, evaluate him, bribe him, get angry with him, try to manipulate him? Or do you just love him and serve him? If he asks you to do something, you do it if you are able to. If you cannot do it, you know that he will understand. Children have a deep understanding on intuitive levels. If their consciousness has not been muddied with power games, children are very realistic in accepting the here and now conditions in their lives.
The Living Love Catalyst, ALL WAYS US LIVING LOVE, (See the Fourth Method in Chapter 13) can be helpful in freeing your consciousness from security, sensation and power addictions when interacting with children. You may wish to start this Catalyst in your consciousness and keep it going for many hours. You let words and other sounds, visual impulses and touch sensations pour into the background of your consciousness. When you keep ALL WAYS US LIVING LOVE constantly turning in your mind, your vibrations will become more peaceful and loving. The perceptions which are then placed into your Consciousawareness by your vast and complex biocomputer will be those which tune you in to a deep calm place within yourself and the children around you. Since children are such excellent mirrors, anything you do to up-level your consciousness will rapidly be reflected in an upleveling of the consciousness of the children around you.
Unless you are free of the lower three levels of consciousness, from time to time your addictive emotional programming will fill your consciousness with fear, anger, or resentment. When this happens, you use these emotional feelings as a golden opportunity to reprogram yourself through the Method of Consciousness Focusing. This is the Fifth Method of growth in the Living Love Way to Higher Consciousness. If you constantly use the here-and-now experience that your life is giving you, your interaction with children can rapidly accelerate your growth into higher consciousness. You should regard it as an evasion if you tell yourself that you cannot grow into higher consciousness because you have young children to take care of — and they are such a distraction. It is likely that you can grow into higher consciousness more rapidly because you do have the benefit of interacting with children.
Firmness is sometimes necessary in order to teach a child how to live with others and to cope with the physical dangers of the world. One mother might punish a child from a subject-object, alienated space that will create separation. Another mother may punish a child in the same way but from a Fourth Center, loving space that will bring them closer together. The things that you actually do in interacting with a child are not as important as the Center of Consciousness that you are working from. A person at the Fourth Center of Consciousness prefers to be receptive and accepting, but when life requires it, he or she can use firmness or force from a loving space. Parents operating from the Fourth Center of Consciousness will do what needs to be done in each situation — and accept and love both the child and themselves — seeing it all as part of the warp and woof of the universe.
Always remember that the experience of peace, love and serenity are created by the way in which you operate your biocomputer. The world you perceive is based on the automatic programming below conscious levels that selects everything that is introduced into your consciousness. As you grow into higher consciousness, your perceptions of what is here and now in your life will be introduced into your consciousness without triggering emotions that lead your rational mind to churn away with security, sensation, and power stuff. When a panoramic perception of the here and now is introduced into your consciousness within a framework of openness and love, you live in a deep, calm place within your heart. You will perceive the drama going on outside of you. You will effectively do what you need to do. And you will enjoy as drama all of the ugly things and the beautiful things that are being acted out on the stage that passes before your eyes each day. The joy and ecstasy of life is yours as you become one with the Law of Higher Consciousness — Love everyone unconditionally — including yourself.
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