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Bush Did Not Say

“disrobe or be dismembered.”
~ misattributed to George W. Bush, spoof of Bush’s weapons inspection policy, Threatening Saddam Hussein with penectomy but probably meant “disarm or be disarmed”.

“If the President said he wanted Saddam to disrobe, then the President meant what he said, and Saddam should disrobe.”
~ misattributed Ari Fleischer, White House Press Secretary
at the McKinley Society, a conservative think tank, 2003-02-28
For a hidden weapon cavity search presumably.
This is a hoax.

“What colour is the red phone?”
~ Bill Maher teasing Bush’s stupidity.

“All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.”
~ Ronald Reagan, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush. That is quite some desk, with 22,000 cubic feet of drawer space.

“Permanent brain damage is one of the inevitable results of the use of marijuana.”
~ Ronald Reagan, 1974 LA Times, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“Facts are stupid things.”
~ Ronald Reagan, 1988, misquoting John Adams, “Facts are stubborn things.” sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“Trees cause pollution.”
~ Ronald Reagan, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“Welcome to George W. Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.”
~ Dan Quayle, Bush senior’s other idiot stepson. Sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush.

“For NASA, space is still a high priority.”
~ Dan Quayle 1990-09-05, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush
Does it have any other priority?

“Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance from the sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen that means we can breathe.”
~ Dan Quayle, 1994-08-11, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush
Imagine a Cheneyesque sigh, where to I begin.

• Mars’ orbit is further out from the sun than earth. 59 million kilometers (37 million miles) further out, about third further out.
• There are no canals. A very early astronomer, Percival Lowell, thought he saw some. This was in the days before celestial photography.
• Yes, water has been found, but no oxygen. You can’t breathe on Mars. It is not a Star Trek class M planet. To breathe, you would need to split the water using electricity (hydrolysis) into oxygen and hydrogen.
• Keep in mind, this same Bush is the flat earther who keeps spreading disinformation about global warming and catastrophic climate change and wants creationism taught in schools as hard science.

“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.”
~ Dan Quayle, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ’to be prepared’.”
~ Dan Quayle, 1993-06-12, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made.”
~ Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 1993-08-17, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.”
~ Dan Quayle, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“The future will be better tomorrow.”
~ Dan Quayle, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”
~ Dan Quayle, 1995-09-18, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush.

“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.”
~ Dan Quayle, 1997-09-27, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.”
~ Mad Magazine spoofing Dan Quayle 1991-05, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
~ Mad Magazine spoofing Dan Quayle 1991-05, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush

“It isn’t pollution that is harming our environment, its the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
~Mad Magazine spoofing Dan Quayle 1991-05, sometimes misattributed to George W. Bush.

“Ossifer, I am not, emfeesize not, under the affluence of incohol.”
~ anonymous, misattributed to George W. Bush

“We’ve wanted so many wars, and we didn’t get them. And we’ve wanted this one for years.”
~ misattributed to George W. Bush, reported by Charles Richard on TV. Actually said by “One of Washington’s pro-war cheerleeders”

“We’re an empire now, and we create our own reality.”
~ Bush senior adviser, New York Times Magazine, 2004-10-17

“The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!”
~ misattributed to George W. Bush, supposedly in the first Gore-Bush Presidential debate, 2000-10-03.

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