George W. Bush Explains Science

Bush the Scientist

Bush greeting Ferengi astronauts.

“We need to understand if you let kindling build up and there’s a lightning strike, you’re going get yourself a big fire.”
~ George W. Bush, in a lame attempt to make deforestation look like a way to stop forest fires, 2002-08-22. Poor George can only see a living forest as kindling.

“Gas is — can only be transported by ship, though, when you liquefy it, when you put it in solid form.”
~ George W. Bush, 2005-04-28, White House press conference, desperately trying to remember what his third grade teacher taught him about the three states of matter.

“I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country.”
~ George W. Bush Washington, D.C., 2004-01-14
He thinks the did it for the endorsement contracts? A business on the side selling moon rocks?

“We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.”
~ George W. Bush, speech in Trenton NJ, 2002-09-23
That would improve the temporary bottom line for the oil industry, but it makes America more dependent on foreign oil and hastens the depletion of oil and other energy resources. He offered a $10 billion gift to the oil companies to stimulate demand rather than a subsidy for conservation measures.

“Embryonic stem-cell research requires the destruction of life to create a stem cell.”
~ George W. Bush, in the second Kerry-Bush debate, 2004-10-08. His excuse for allowing Chris Reeve (aka Superman) to die, because Bush thought transplanting stem cells was the same as killing them and that the rights of a few cells had priority over the rights of the colony of trillions of cells other wise known as Chris Reeve.

“My energy policy encourages conservation.”
~ George W. Bush in the second Kerry-Bush debate, 2004-10-08. Bush’s policies encourage waste not conservation, e.g. a tax credit for people who buy large SUVs.

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Ayatolla Bush	Kinky George	Bush’s Secret Time Travel Project
Baby Talk	On Leaks	Truth In Advertising
Bush Budget	L’état, c’est moi	Verbal Dyslexia
Credibility	Damn Lies	Walter Mitty
Toward Better Quality Crime	Literacy	Word Salads: Cocaine or Alcohol?
Delusions of Grandeur	Marie Antoinette Bush	Quaylish syllogisms
The Great Dissembler	No Kidding?	Ari Fleischer
What Have You Been Drinking and Snorting?	Obscenities	About Bush
Foolish Consistency	Oh Really?	Bush Did Not Say
Freudian Slips	Orwellian Sleight Of Mouth	Bumper Stickers
General Bush	Bush the Scientist	Why?
Evidence Bush Enjoys Kinky S&M and Gay Sex	Slips of the Tongue	Books
George’s Heart of Gold	Bush the Statesman	Visual Bushisms
Heil Bush	Are You Sure It Was W. Who Said That?	Links
Bush is Not Hitler	Terms of Endearment
Hurricanes	Those Terrible Terrists