Living Love Glossary

Introduction

Index

The Glossary

addiction

Anything you tell yourself you have to have before you can be happy.

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affirmation

A positive thought you immerse in your consciousness through repetition. You can write, say or listen to them.

aplomb

self-possession. The key to handling difficult situations is to look on them as an opportunity to show off how you can handle them with aplomb.

biggie

A major addiction that causes pain again and again that is diffiult to reprogram.

blue card

At the Berkeley Living Love Centre, there was a blue card with the centres of consciousness and the associated emotions handed to each student to help in pinpointing addictions. People would say, "I was so upset I had the whole blue card" meaning they felt every last one of the negative emotions. The card was later reprinted on green and at once point yellow cardboard, but people continued to refer to it as the blue card.

building a case

Mentally playing lawyer and coming up with reasons why you are right and reasonable and the person you are having a dispute with is wrong and unreasonable.

buy in

The usual way of thinking is You made me angry. The living love way of looking at this is "I made myself angry when you triggered my addictive demand." People will often attempt to convince you that their anger is 100% your doing and that you are 100% responsible for doing something to alleviate it. If you agree with them, then you have bought in to their belief system.

catalyst

A short phrase you sing or say over and over to yourself.

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centre

One of seven ways of filtering your experience to focus on a particular aspect of it.

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choice process

Looking for other ways of achieving your positive intention (desired emotional state) without having to satisfy the addiction.

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conflict process

A technique for resolving internal conflicts by arguing the case for various actions into a tape recorder.

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conscious confrontation

A way to confront someone doing something you don’t like by showing them ways they could get the same emotions they are seeking through alternate means.

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consciousness focusing

Pounding new programming into your brain through shouting and repetition.

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cop to

Admit to some embarrassing fact about yourself.

core beliefs

Deep seated negative beliefs.

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core drama of misery

The main addiction in your life that you obsess about. This is the key addiction to deal with since it causes so much misery over so long a time. It is also the hardest to reprogram since it will have many facets involving security, sensation and power.

denial

Pretending to your others or yourself that some unflattering fact is not true.

EIP

(Exploration Insight Process)

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EMDR

(Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)

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emotions

It can be useful to be very precise on exactly what emotion you are feeling. A stray emotion is often a clue that there are many subaddictions going on along with the main one. To come, precise definitions of each emotion.

Level	Centre	Associated Emotion	Definition
1	security	alarm	frightened anticipation of danger, uneasiness.
		alienation	a lonely feeling of not belonging, not fitting in.
		anxiety	morbid concern about the future. Excessive uneasiness.
		apprehension	uneasiness, feeling that something awful will happen without being clear on what it might be.
		bitterness	relentless mental pain, particularly that felt as biting, piercingly cold or harsh.
		confusion	disordered, chaotic, unpleasant feeling of not knowing what is going on.
		dejection	sad, gloomy usually because of perceived inadequacy.
		despair	complete loss of hope
		despondency	with lost heart or hope.
		discouragement	without courage, confidence or energy.
		doubt	feeling of uncertainty and hesitation
		dread	to look forward to with terror
		embarrassment	an awkward shame experienced when some unflattering fact is made public.
		fear	to be afraid
		grief	deep or violent sorrow, keen regret
		guilt	mental obsession with having done wrong. Do not confuse guilt with shame.
		helplessness	Feeling unable to cope without help and help is not available.
		hopelessness	feeling without hope, inadequate and incompetent.
		hurt	feeling of being harmed
		insecurity	feeling not safe, of being on thin ice.
		isolation	feeling set apart and alone
		jealousy	fear experienced when your partner pays attention to someone else. This is not the same as envy, which is irritation that others have material goods that you do not.
		loneliness	an empty feeling when in solitude
		nervousness	highly strung, timid, easily agitated, usually from fear of appearing foolish in front of others.
		panic	sudden alarm with an adrenalin rush that makes rational thought impossible, often associated with a strong urge to flee.
		powerlessness	Despair over having no having so power to change a situation.
		sadness	sorrow, mourning
		shame	a feeling of humiliation based on one’s shortcomings. Do not confuse shame with guilt.
		terror	extreme fear
		worry	allowing the mind to dwell on troubles.
2	sensation	boredom	weary from lack of stimulation.
		disappointment	frustration when an event you expected would happen does not happen.
		discouragement	loss of confidence or energy.
		disgust	repugnance, strong aversion, often based on taste or smell.
		dismay	a sudden feeling of powerlessness
		envy	resentful contemplation of a more fortunate person, either wishing you had more or he had less.
		frustration	discontent from inability to achieve one’s desires. Sensation centre frustration is close to anger.
		jealousy	disappointment experienced when your partner pays attention to someone else. This is not the same as envy, which is irritation that others have material goods that you do not.
3	power	aggravation	a heavy feeling of having been wronged
		alienation	a frustrated feeling of not belonging, not fitting in.
		anger	extreme displeasure
		annoyance	slight anger
		contempt	despising for bad behaviour, considering a rival powerless.
		disdain	scorn, contempt, to consider others beneath oneself or one’s notice.
		embarrassment	an awkward feeling of shame at having one’s shortcomings exposed.
		exasperation	anger and being deliberately provoked.
		frustration	discontent from inability to achieve one’s desires. Power centre frustration is an anger directed at oneself or vaguely at the universe.
		fury	extreme anger, fierce passion. More controlled and methodical than rage.
		hate	strong dislike or aversion.
		hostility	emnity, a state of warfare.
		impatience	frustration that a change is not happening as quickly as you wanted.
		indignation	anger excited by supposed meanness, injustice, wickedness or misconduct.
		irritation	uneasy sensation, distraction.
		jealousy	anger experienced when your partner pays attention to someone else. This is not the same as envy, which is irritation that others have material goods that you do not.
		powerlessness	without power, a feeling of impotence.
		rage	violent anger
		resentment	long standing bitter feelings
		revulsion	a sudden attack of loathing, enough to make you feel ill.
		wrath	righteous indignation, usually inspired by one’s religious or moral beliefs.
4	love
		affection	tender fondness
		appreciation	to feel grateful for what one is experiencing
		benevolence	desirous of doing good
		buoyancy	a light-heartedness that is not shaken by minor troubles.
		calmness	slow thoughts, no urgency, tranquility, quiet, still, serenity.
		cheerfulness	contented good spirits, eager to participate in activities.
		closeness	intimate friendship
		compassion	a feeling of loving concern for others
		compassion	a feeling of loving concern for others
		contentment	satisfied, tranquil happiness, as after a good meal.
		courage	bravery and boldness in the face of danger, not necessarily fearless.
		delight	taking great pleasure in something.
		emotional acceptance	a calm neutral feeling.
		empathy	a feeling of oneness with another
		enjoyment	delight. Taking pleasure in.
		enthusiasm	a great eagerness and zest.
		friendliness	open, fearless, trusting of others
		fulfillment	a feeling that the work you are doing does matter.
		fun	amusement, jocularity, drollery.
		gladness	Cordial joy.
		happiness	a glad, cheerful, upbeat feeling.
		harmony	a feeling of fitting well with others, not clashing with their desires.
		humility	delight in seeing oneself as a tiny part of a magnificent whole.
		intimacy	a feeling of close familiarity without secrets.
		joviality	jolly, merry, hearty boisterous happiness.
		lightheartedness	cheerful, gay, optimistic.
		love	warm affection
		merriment	hilarious enjoyment, mirth, fun.
		peace	a cool, calm feeling that all in right in the world.
		relaxation	ease, lack of tension
		safety	a feeling of being free from danger.
		satisfaction	enjoying finally getting what you wanted after some difficulty.
		serenity	unruffled, placid, unperturbed.
		tenderness	solicitousness, consideration
		togetherness	enjoying the feeling of belonging to a group or pair.
		tranquillity	calmness, serenity, unruffled.
		warmheartedness	affectionate, cordial generosity
5	cornucopia	all love centre emotions	see above
		abundance	overflowing emotion, more than enoughness.
		bliss	perfect joy, being in heaven.
		elation	exultant high spirits
		exhilaration	excited cheer
		exultation	triumphal rejoicing
		fulfillment	a feeling that the work you are doing does matter.
		gratitude	thankful appreciation with an inclination to return kindness
		joy	vivid pleasure and gladness
		more than enough	overwhelming feeling of being given far more than one deserves.
		rapture	ecstatic delight
		richness	appreciation for the complexity of the universe
		wonder	curiosity and amazement
6	conscious awareness	nonjudgemental observing	like watching a movie, without demands the plot unfold in any way other than it does. Your inner Vulcan.
7	cosmic consciousness	awe	reverential wonder
		oneness	A feeling that you are in synch with everything, a part of everything, indeed that you are everything.
		perfection	You can’t imagine how it could possibly be any better.

experience

How you perceive a situation, including you associated emotions and physical sensations.

feeding an addiction

Working hard to satisfy an addiction rather than reprogram it.

inner honesty

being honest with yourself, in particular being truthful to yourself about what emotions you are feeling and what you are currently addictively demanding.

lifetraps

Destructive patterns of thinking you develop as a child and continue with into your adult way of looking at the world.

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method

Any technique for uplevelling addictions to preferences.

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outer honesty

being honest with others, in particular being truthful to others about what emotions you are feeling and what you are currently addictively demanding.

pathway

Twelve sayings you can repeat to yourself when you are upset.

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pinpointing

Breaking down a general addiction into many small specific tiny addictions.

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playing teacher

Living Love is a technique for working on your own head not other people’s. It is pointless to explain to others that their suffering is caused by their addictions, to point out their addictions, or to suggest reprogramming techniques. The only time playing teacher is appropriate is in a workshop setting when other people have asked you to.

positive intention

The emotion you hope to achieve if you get your addiction satisfied.

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preference

Something you tell yourself you want, but when you don’t get it, you don’t make yourself unhappy. see addiction.

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prescriptions for happiness

Three simple rules for happiness.

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quirks

Errors in thinking often caused by the three brains, reptilian, mammal and rational operating at cross purposes.

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reframing

Finding a new way to look at a situation. Centres of Consciousness are essentially a reframing technique.

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self hate

From the point of view of cosmic consciousness, it makes no sense to treat yourself any more harshly than you would any other being. Self-hate lies at the root of many other psychological problems such as depression, phobias and delusions. We construct idealized perfect selves who are all wise, all knowing, universally loved, beautiful, healthy, saintly etc. then mercilessly beat ourselves up for not living up to these god-like ideals. We deny ourselves simple pleasures, insisting only on unattainable ones suited for such gods. Self-hate is usually based on childhood parental putdowns that become internalised.

Book referral for Compassion and Self-Hate

	recommend book⇒Compassion and Self-Hate
	by	Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.	978-0-02-077750-2	paperback
	birth	1923-04-11 age:95	978-0-679-50474-0	hardcover
	publisher	Scribner Paper Fiction
	published	1986-04-29
Discusses how self-hate underlies so many psychological problems and how to root it out by directly attacking the supporting delusions and by refusing to beat yourself up.
Online bookstores carrying Compassion and Self-Hate abe books anz abe books.ca abe books.de amazon.ca amazon.de Chapters Indigo amazon.es Chapters Indigo eBooks iberlibro.com abe books.com abe books.fr amazon.com amazon.fr Barnes & Noble abe books.it Nook at Barnes & Noble amazon.it Kobo junglee.com Google play abe books.co.uk O’Reilly Safari amazon.co.uk Powells other stores
Greyed out stores probably do not have the item in stock. Try looking for it with a bookfinder.

sentient

capable of perception through the senses. Does not necessarily imply conscious.

SOS

SOS (Sharing Of Space/Sharing Our Shit). A process where you tell other people about the addictions you have on them without asking them to change.

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starving an addiction

Weakening an addictive demand by refusing to satisfy it, even when you could.

stuff

illogical beliefs. Embarrassingly petty desires. Petty fixations.

suffering

mental, emotional or physical pain.

surrender

This word is used in a way somewhat different from it usual meaning of capitulate. It means to relax in a tense situation and accept what is, for now. Tell yourself you don’t have to fix this evil instantly. It also means picking your fights. If you and your partner differ on the best place to store the bath brush, if it is not of overriding importance to you, it is probably best to voluntarily surrender to your partner’s choice, without resentment. Your partner will not feel so put upon and self-sacrificing and may be more inclined to co-operate with your addictions and preferences. You think of it as a gift you give out of consideration and love and as way to create harmony rather than as a defeat.

teacher

Anyone who triggers your addictions. They are not your enemies. They are helping you get free of your addictions. The saying he’s a real teacher roughly means either he’s a real SOB or In a cosmic sense, I needed that painful experience from him, but I sure as heck did not enjoy it. depending on the tone of voice.

uplevel

To change an addiction to a preference.

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